Page 21 of Wild Child
“The question is, what do we do now?” I murmured.
Several attempts to speak yielded nothing on his part. I wrapped my arms around my knees and let the silence ride. The canoe gently rocked. The smell of the lake, the occasionalblipof the water, soothed me.
Devin seemed to war with himself, as if he had something he wanted to say but didn’t know how to say it. I wondered what thoughts lay behind those tight lips.
“What makes you happy now, Ellie?”
The question caught me by surprise. “What?”
“There’s so much I don’t know about the last three years, so I want to know what makes you happy now.”
Startled, I responded with my instinct. “Freedom.”
He lifted an eyebrow in silent question.
“College wasn’t a good fit for me.” My nose wrinkled. “I tried half of a semester at the state university, but I couldn’t do it.”
What I didn’t tell him was that ghosts chased me away. That his absence was a living entity that walked me to class. His ghost accompanied me home and sat with me in a loud apartment cluttered with girls swapping mascara and sequined shirts. Their drunk boyfriend-of-the-day laughed loudly in the other room as if they owned the place. Always unpredictable. Sometimes in my stuff. When I became angry that they entered my room without permission, they laughed it off. The scent of alcohol stained the air every weekend. Memories of Jim had come back to haunt me in big ways, making it impossible to feel safe.
I skipped over the memory of the guy that pawed at me when my roommates held a party. I’d dislocated his arm and had to file a report with the police. Or the group of guys that surrounded me on campus as if to ask me directions. They tried to back me up against a wall. I’d kicked one in the throat, slashed another in the eyes with my keys, and the third one fled before I could turn on him.
Those things didn’t need to be said yet.
“What didn’t you like?” he asked.
I shrugged.
“Everything. Classes. Restrictions. A single career path. Someone else telling me to pay them money to educate me on something I might not want to do in ten years.”
Most people recoiled when I stated my opinions about college. They judged my job at the coffee shop and seemed to quietly ask:and this is so much better?Some people just smiled at my less-than-popular opinions, acting as if I was young and would rush back to college later when I learned the truth.
“I didn’t need a professor to tell me how to start a fire without matches. How to survive for three days with only the clothes on my back. I already did those things, and that’s all I wanted to keep doing. I wanted freedom in the mountains. So, I came home.”
To my surprise, he grinned. “I always thought you’d hate college.”
I chuckled. “Turns out you were right.”
“What happened next?”
He leaned forward again, arms braced on his knees, as if hungry for the details. Genuine interest lay there.
“I came home,” I said. “Dagny and Hernandez married in a Christmas ceremony at his abuela’s house, so I moved into the loft and took over the Frolicking Moose. JJ Bailey has been taking me on climbs with him a few times a month, so I’m skilled at that. Got my boaters certification. First aid. CPR. Avalanche training. Licenses. Practiced downhill winter skiing. Anything I could do outside that would eventually get me to where I wanted to be.”
“Adventure guiding.”
It wasn’t a question.
My grin grew. “Guiding.”
Devin scoffed.
“I had to earn Daniel’s trust somehow, so I dove into all the outdoor adventure things I could find. He thought I was too young and inexperienced at first, and . . . he might have been right.”
I winced. Admitting that concession always stung. Devin grinned, but it was half-hearted and quiet.
“He has let me start small. Half-day hikes, full-day hikes. Some boating and fishing. Winter traffic is big, especially for backcountry skiing. After working for him for two years, assisting on some guides, and learning a bit more, I’m going to do my first overnight guide this summer.”
“Freaking sweet.” He grinned wide, and the skin around his sunglasses wrinkled. “You’ve been busy.”
