Page 59 of Wild Child
"We need to get some sleep," he whispered. "We can huddle together, in case it gets much colder, and doze. I won't sleep deeply, I hope, but if I get into a nightmare, try to wake me up."
"I'll ground you."
He smiled gently, then pulled away. There wasn't far to go, so he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and we leaned back into the stream bank. I wiggled closer and put my head on his shoulder. Like missing puzzle pieces, we slid together. The boxes in my mind jangled with an ugly reminder of how full I'd filled them tonight. Devin's whispered confession, so darkly vulnerable and stark in the reality of his new life, created more boxes.
More emotions.
More uncertainty.
"Thank you for telling me," I whispered.
He squeezed my shoulders and I slid into a reluctant and fitful sleep.
16
Devin
Dawn edged the sky when my eyes fluttered open.
Darkness still lingered in the trees across the stream, but the sky had started to lighten in the east. For the first time in my life, the presence of light in the mountains wasn't a comforting thing.
We'd make better time and would hopefully be able to haul off the mountain today, but so would Kimball and Steve. There was more to see in the daylight, and we were included in that. Without knowing their motivations and whether or not they wanted to come back at us, I had to assume they were still hostiles. Particularly this morning, after time allowed reality to set in. I'd seen the pink bricks of powder burst into flame before we stumbled away. Men killed over lesser insults than lost drugs and money.
A gentle sigh drew my gaze down. Ellie's head remained tucked up on my shoulder, her breath warm and gentle on my neck. Her arm lay limp across my stomach. Dew had descended overnight, dampening our clothes. Her skin was cool where she wasn’t touching me. I wanted to curl her all the way into my arms and wrap her in a hold that pressed my heart on hers. Maybe she wouldn't even protest. We'd always cuddled and touched more often than most. But that didn't necessarilymeananything.
I shoved those thoughts away. Practicality demanded attention, not dreams. No matter how hard I tried to get rid of them, they returned.
Besides, Ellie wasn't mine. She never really had been. Shefeltlike mine in high school when our worlds intermixed so easily. When I could keep an eye on her and also have other friends. That life wouldn't have lasted. The adoration I saw in her eyes for her best friend was part of the reason I knew I had to leave, at least for a while. Because Ellie was, for all intents and purposes,mine. Totally under the spell of what friendship we had. She'd hold herself back in all elements of her life because of her loyalty to me and never think twice about it.
At least, not at first.
Resentment would have built over time. I'd seen it in my sister and my parents and wanted better for Ellie and me. I tightened my hold on her without thinking about it and she stirred.
The gentle twitter of birds overhead drew my thoughts back to our surroundings. The stream bubbled by, soft as a sigh. No other sound interrupted the lazy woods, but my gaze darted around anyway. Nothing was everthispeaceful.
Yes, it is,came the thought.You've just forgotten.
Flashes of deployment in Afghanistan and thebrap brap brapof hostile fire jolted me. I shook my head to get rid of the intrusive thoughts.
I'm here,I told myself and forced myself to draw in a deep breath. The fresh scent brought me back.That world and that life aren’t real right now.
Except it was for someone else, and that made me just as sick to my stomach. With intentional mental force, I turned my mind back to where I wanted it for the third time: our plan to get out of here.
A popular, even wider creek should have waited at the bottom of another ridgeline, set to the south of the one Ellie almost set on fire last night. But we hadn't found it yet. We'd crossed over this stream yesterday, but farther up. At least, I thought we had. The ridges and valleys were unclear without the absolution of a map. Any attempt to recall it met with uncertainty. IthoughtI knew where to go, but couldn't be sure of it. My stomach growled as if it sensed my lack of confidence.
We couldn't wander forever.
The ridge wasn't as high here and had more forest cluttering the hills, but I hoped it would intersect with the well-known trail near the bottom, where the stream dumped into a lake that people often hiked to. Once we hit the trail, we could move quickly and get out of here.
My head pulsed lightly with pain, but it felt dull and thick instead of torturous thuds. I'd need to get to a hospital sooner than later, but, for now, my focus would solely be on getting us out of these mountains. If Kimball did follow, they'd expect us to stay near the stream. We'd walk high, following the creek in the trees if we had to.
"Dev?"
The quietly spoken word stirred my chest. I glanced down again to see Ellie blinking up at me. She shifted away, gazed around in panic, then sagged back in relief. She returned to the same spot and snuggled in more deeply, her forehead pressed against my neck. I held her tight against me and tried not to feel annoyed that I smelled like blood, dirt, and vomit. Instead, I let the deep intensity of hope from her touch fill me. Like I could draw all her power into me and stuff it into all my broken places.
My voice came out a scratchy burr when I asked, "Sleep okay?"
"Yeah. In and out."
