Page 6 of Wild Child
Through twigs and leaves, I made out the small gathering on the parking lot below. Twenty people lingered around a grill and several red-and-white checkered picnic tables. The early summer air smelled like charred beef and hotdogs. Three children scuttled around, chasing each other with water balloons. They belonged to Kendra, Devin’s older sister. She was twenty-seven years old and stood near the shop, laughing at something a neighbor said. Over it all flapped an American flag, crisp in the wind.
Devin stood out amongst the crowd right away. He stood next to his mother, Millie. At the grill was Mac, his father. Mac sat on a chair when he wasn’t flipping burgers or rolling hot dogs because he couldn’t stand for long periods of time. A debilitating back injury had nearly paralyzed him years ago, and they’d almost lost their small home.
Other members of the Pineville community littered the lot. A banner across the Frolicking Moose saidGood Luck Devinin red, white, and blue font with a camouflage background. The whole thing made the back of my throat tighten.
This farewell party shouldn’t have to happen at all.
A week and a half had passed since I’d last spoken to him at the prom. I felt like a coward for ignoring his calls, his text messages, and avoiding him at school. I had changed my usual routes and acted as if he didn’t exist. The limelight of prom King and his announcement of his commitment to the Marines kept him busy in the halls. Everyone wanted to talk with the new hero.
Which is right when I’d turned into a coward.
Maverick turned Devin away when he came over on prom night because I demanded it. I didn’t want to see Devin, even though he’d chased after me. Devin had lied to me. He’d taken the dreams that we’d made together. Unsafe dreams I probably shouldn’t have invested in in the first place.
Most of all, hechoseto leave.
No amount of Maverick staying up with me and trying to explain why Devin did it dulled the pain.It will be good for both of you, he said.You need to find yourself without him,he said. The wordsran in and right back out of my mind.
Yes, the Marines cleared up his financial issues.
It eased the burden on his parents.
It gave him a chance to see the world.
It created opportunities for him later.
But none of that helped my broken heart, so I’d turned to the only thing that would: reality. Dirty, crusty, say-it-like-it-is reality. Devin had chosen a different life. I couldn’t change that. So, if he was going to leave, he needed to stay gone.
If he didn’t bounce in and out of my life, I’d be able to move on. Because, for the last seven years, I had pictured my life happening one way. That way always had Devin in it. Maybe Devin dated other girls, the way he did in high school, but he was there. That stable, permanent figure.
For the last ten days, I’d grappled with who I’d be and what my life would look like without him, and it robbed me of my courage.
That’s why I sat in the tree with camouflage hiding my body and watched most of Pineville come and go. Watched them shake his hand, clap his shoulder, give him advice, thank him for his service. I watched his eyes go to the road, and his shoulders fall in disappointment every time someone new came that wasn’t me. I watched while Maverick and Bethany bustled in and out of the Frolicking Moose. Both had been angry with Devin, but worked through it faster than me.
Not for what he did, but thewayhe did it.
My sister-mama had a territorial streak in her that frightened even me.
Near the end of the picnic, Maverick glanced up and met my eyes. I scowled. He winked. Then he turned his back and acted as if I weren’t there. A few minutes later, he gave Devin an envelope that would have a lot of money in it. Devin smiled with gratitude, but the tone of the smile remained empty. Several times he tried to speak, but couldn’t. Eventually, Maverick saved him with a clap on the shoulder and something I couldn’t hear.
The bark pressed into my stomach and I felt sick. Thor whined on the ground beneath me, but still, I watched. Watched Cassidy when she gave him a hug and a warm smile and another hug that lingered seconds longer than I liked.
Watched Devin wait, and wait, and wait.
Despite dusk falling and the gradual clearing of the party, I watched. Despite knowing he’d leave early the next morning to take a flight to San Diego and I didn’t know when I’d talk to him again, I stayed in the tree. I didn’t climb down, throw myself into his arms, and sob the way I wanted.
Devin was moving into his new life, and he’d chosen to do it without me. He’d chosen to lie for a year, and now he put us on separate paths. We weren’t tied together. He wouldn’t know my daily life and I wouldn’t know his. That was his choice, and I’d honor it the only way I knew how.
It was better if people just stayed gone.
And so, I stayed in the tree like a coward while darkness fell and I let Devin go. After everyone left, I trekked back to my truck hidden in the trees with Thor at my side. Those were the last tears I’d let fall for Devin Blaine.
Now, it was time to watch out for myself.
1
Ellie
Three years later
