Page 82 of Wild Child
But I had to believe it wouldn't be true.
"And if we do die today," I said in a fierce whisper, "we'll do it together. If I have anything to say about it, Devin Blaine, we will never be parted again.”
He leaned into my palm with wide eyes, vulnerable in their ferocity. “Then you are real. You never spoke to me before.”
“We won't die. Do you trust me?” I whispered.
“Yes.”
His quick reply, without a beat of hesitation, filled me with courage. “Are you back to me?”
“I'm not sure."
"Then let me bring you back."
I grabbed his shirt and jerked him into my chest. He stumbled into me with a silent breath of surprise that I caught with my own. The moment my lips pressed into his, he melted. All the bones disappeared from his body and I caught his weight on top of me. He moved, pressing my back into the embankment, and planted his hands on either side of me to keep from crushing me beneath him. My hands on his face elicited a low groan in his throat. His lips parted to mine. They were warm, hungry, and filled with passion.
They were everything.
They were soulship.
My stomach dropped as he twined his arms around me. His hold felt tight and protective and encompassing and everything I'd ever imagined it would be. Our bodies molded together with the declarative kiss. And now, there was no going back. His hand touched the small of my back, my hips. He reached down and pulled me into his arms until my legs wrapped around his waist and he held all of me.
Sheer exhilaration became my heart.
All the while, my lips didn't leave his, even though my heart fluttered free for the first time. The distant sound of shouts brought me back out of the sky. I pulled away with a gasp. Tears had jolted out of my eyes when I pulled back to look at him. Hunger had overtaken the haze in his eyes. He blinked, peering at me through positively burning want.
“I love you,” I whispered frantically. The raw, raspy words sounded in a world of utter stillness.
The anxiety left his face and bled into concern.
“What?”
“I’ve always loved you," I whispered. My shaking hand found his cheek again. "I love you, Devin. I love you. I love you. You are my best friend and always will be. I loved you in high school and I loved you through your deployments and I love you now. You have my heart. My soul. All of me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't want to be your friend, your acquaintance, or anything like that. I want to be your soul. I don't even want to be a guide . . . all this time I just wantedyou.”
A cracking twig sounded overhead, not far away. I leaned closer, frantic. Our foreheads pressed together. Pressure built up in my throat as all the boxes unbraided. They spilled every emotion I'd battled since he left and swept out like a tide. His kiss had unraveled everything inside of me. Boxes that were once as strong as steel were now wet cardboard. I didn't even try to replace that stoic facade of indifference that had saved me for so long.
My boxes broke, and I let them go.
Different words flooded free instead.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, gaunt. Tears blurred the dark vision of his astonished expression. "I'm so sorry. If we die, I wanted you to know. I'm sorry that I brought you on this hike and didn't turn us back. I'm sorry that I never gave you a chance to explain. The past three years . . . I've kept us apart. I was stupid and stubborn, and I should have trusted you. I'm sorry, Dev. I'm so sorry that I've loved you for so long and didn't tell you. That’s why I didn’t go to your dinner and it’s why I couldn’t talk to you when you came home. Because I loved you so much I couldn’t lose you again."
Tears slipped down my cheeks as I gripped his face. Could he feel my wild desperation? The terror of revealing all and knowing I could now lose him all over again? Mama reminded me not to be a fool with a quiet whisper.
Men leave, baby girl,she said.Love dies. You take care of yourself.
They leave,my heart whispered,but the good ones come back.
Mama disappeared.
His arms came back around me like a steel trap to hold together all the falling pieces. "Ellie," he whispered gently. "MyEllie. I have always loved you."
A hot kiss sealed his response and captured my disbelieving sob. He leaned into me until I couldn't breathe, but I took his weight because I wanted all of him. All of whatever he gave. The feeling of being turned inside-out quieted when he pulled away. He leaned back and tucked a piece of hair away. The feeling of his fingertip across the shell of my ear, gentle as a whisper, sent goosebumps through my skin.
An unreadable expression crossed his face just as a trickle of dirt dropped onto his head. Devin flinched and tilted his head back to look up.
Neils stood overhead, pistol dangling at his side. Dirt smeared his cheek. Blood cut a line under his nostrils and upper lip. A dark feeling passed through me, and I imagined I’d just seen the last sight I’d ever have in this life.
