Page 169 of Smoke and Fire
My curiosity only grew, expanding with more and more questions. I thought about texting Dagny to ask, but stopped myself. No, that felt like too much of an invasion. If I wanted Bastian’s story, I needed to get it from Bastian. Really, I should just feed the cat and go.
But I couldn’t help myself.
Grateful to have a second away from the strangely close rooms, I stepped outside to get the mail. The lawn was a short, rectangular box of land behind a wooden fence. My car waited just beyond it. I returned to the curb, reached into a mailbox made out of old license plates, and reached for the mail. Although I didn’tintentionallylook, when I returned inside to set the envelopes next to the rest of them on the counter, my eyes snagged the corner of one.
Memory Care Services.
Geez.
Was his father sick?
Something soft and silky touched my ankle. I jumped with a gasp and glanced down to see a calico cat threading itself around my legs. The purr melted me. I reached a hand down. The cat sniffed it, studied it, then butted its head against my palm.
“You are lovely,” I murmured, then crouched next to it.
The silence of the house settled around me as I petted her. Eventually, I put a hand around her and lifted her up.
“Psycho, huh?” I murmured.
She purred against my jaw, boneless in my hands. Oh, this was a cat I could bond with. None of that holier-than-thou stuff.
“Yeah, you’re not a tough nut to crack like your owner.”
Unless Bastian’s father was the owner. In which case, this puzzle continued to complicate.
Why had Bastian sentmehere to take care of the cat? Surely Dagny would have happily taken over. Had it been a spur-of-the-moment decision? Hernandez and Bastian had clearly been friends for much longer than the hot minute that we had known each other.
Why not ask them?
I had my suspicions, but I also had my own emotions over this whole situation. Emotions I didn’t really trust yet. As I had resolved before, I needed to move slowly. I laughed into the quiet house.
This was so beyond that now.
“The road this attraction leads down is a road that I’ve taken before,” I said to twelve-year-old Bastian in a picture. “I want to like you, Bastian. And I’m reluctant to admit that I do. But I’ve done this before. Liked someone quickly. The road it took me down ended with heartbreak. Is it worth it?”
Time-frozen Bastian just smiled at me with a warmth and delight I’d only caught hints of now.
Also growth,Inner Me said.The road with Jakob provided lessons, love, and good times. Those things too.
“True.”
So was it worth it?
With a roll of my eyes, I muttered, “Yes.”
Will you ever move on if you're intentionally keeping yourself in the past?Inner Me asked. An echo of sorrow lived in the question.
“No, but what do I have if I move onto something else?”
Everything.
“Yes,” I murmured. “I suppose you’re right.”
I set the silent back-and-forth into the depths of my mind to stew on.
“C’mon, kitty,” I murmured as I scratched behind her ear. “Let’s get you some fresh food and water, then send Bastian a video. I think he’d probably like to see you.”
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