Page 204 of Smoke and Fire
Katrina rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm convinced she's here. It's the perfect place to hide in plain sight. The perfect place to write books for a living. What can I do for you that would convince you to tell me more? Or to tell her that I’m here, if you haven’t already."
Something in her body language clued me in. This was more than just a mystery. Pain lurked beneath Katrina's obsession.
"Why are you so determined to speak to her?" I asked.
Her nostrils flared. Katrina drew in a deep breath, then let it out. "Because I think she knows me," she finally said. She chewed on her bottom lip. "I think she wrote me into her book as Lolo."
"Why would she do that?"
She spoke the words so softly I almost didn't hear her. "Because she loves me."
"I'm sorry," I murmured, utterly confused, "what?"
Frustrated now, Katrina straightened up.
"I just want to talk to her. See her. I want . . . I want to see if my supposition is correct. The person that I am and show up as everyday was frighteningly represented in that book. That can't just be coincidental. She must be Brooke!"
"Brooke? Who is Brooke?"
Katrina pushed on. "There was this girl I dated once online. Brooke. We spoke all the time for years. Years! Together, we had a true, soul-level connection. She . . . anyway, I loved her. A lot. She broke up with me before we could meet in person, and it's possible she catfished me. But I haven't been able to find her ever since and I look for her all the time. She was an avid writer and she loved romance novels. Her greatest dream was to publish her books. When we last spoke, she had some interests from a small publishing company, but she hadn't said who."
Katrina's voice trailed away into a mournful tone. I stared at her, at a loss for words. How could this situation get any weirder?
Any sadder?
"About a year after Brooke disappeared, I stumbled onto Jess," Katrina whispered. "She was a growing name in the romance book world and her writing seemed . . . familiar. She reminded me of Brooke. Then I readLust is a Darkening Hellscapewith Lolo in it. Me in it, essentially. And . . . ever since I read the book, I've had to know. Is Jess really Brooke? So I emailed Jess. Told her how much I loved the book. How much it meant to me. I coded it in a way that Brooke would know it was me. I . . ."
My stomach felt a little tremor of fear when she couldn't finish her sentence. Had Katrina's emails been one of those that were buried in Bastian's life? Had he deleted it without responding—maybe even on accident—and now she felt ignored and slighted and bitter?
"And?" I asked.
Tears filled her eyes. She tried to blink them away, jaw tight, but they glimmered there anyway.
"And Jess sent me a signed copy ofLust is a Darkening Hellscape.At the bottom it said,Love, Jessand had a heart thing drawn underneath it. The same way that Brooke had signed her hand-written notes to me. Except with her name, not Jess. It was a sign. It . . . I was certain of it. JessisBrooke. I've been determined to find her."
With a flood of understanding, my entire body melted. Katrina was a heartbroken, seeking soul attempting to find her new place in a world she hadn't asked for. She wasn't a frightening stalker. Just a woman looking for her love.
"And you're trying to find Brooke here," I murmured.
Her chin tilted higher, forcing her to look at me down her nose. Despite my own wariness around Katrina/Lolo, I couldn't deny the real fear in her eyes.
"Yes." She swallowed. "It's been so long now. I don't want to live without an explanation any longer. I need closure. I’ve obsessed over this too long."
"Where do you live, Katrina?"
"New York or LA. I bounce between the two. I came here from New York."
"You came all that way?"
She nodded.
I sighed. "Have a seat," I murmured. "And I'll tell you what I can.”
Relief, coupled with fear, filled her expression as she lowered into a nearby chair. The cagey energy she'd brought into the store subsided as I walked around the counter and sat down across from her. Now that her secret was out, she seemed a little more at ease. Terrified, but not so . . . odd.
The strangeness of this entire situation had set me off balance, and I struggled to pull my thoughts together. We sat there for several long moments. As if the world burning by fire outside wasn't enough, now Katrina had morphed into a lovesick woman seeking her lost mate.
A heart drawn underneath an author signature was hardly a rare idea, particularly in the romance world. Her timeline didn't really line up, either. Brooke had been looking for a publisher when it sounded like Jess's romance books were already out.
