Page 69 of Smoke and Fire
"Oh," I whispered. "Yes. I have."
You don't want to talk to him,Inner Me pointed out, sounding a bit gleeful.You once thought you'd give anything for him to stand in front of you again, just like this. But now that he's here, do you feel the relief you expected? The elation?
No,I thought.
The truth shocked me.
“I can see that this may not have been the best idea," he said quietly. His fingers drummed a beat on his pants. "You don't seem like you want to talk."
"I mean . . . I guess I do?" I rubbed a hand over my forehead. "I'm sorry, Jakob. You've just . . . you've taken me by surprise. I'm not really sure what to think."
His mein came across calmer than I would have expected. This casual Jakob looked a lot like the man I originally fell in love with. The gentle touches. Quiet words. Jakob had always been easygoing . . . until he became bored and routine and disinterested.
The return to the Jakob I loved should have brought a complicated jumble of emotions. Instead, I didn’t feel as much as I expected. Affection rooted in shared history, sure. Maybe some regret and lingering sadness. The rush of attraction, though, didn’t follow. I stepped back again until I felt the other counter at my hip. He didn’t venture closer.
“How’d you know I was here?” I asked.
"You posted about it on social media.”
My nostrils flared. Yep. Definitely did that. A bit creepy that he'd followed through on it, though, without contacting me. A flicker of movement in the parking lot caught my eye. A group of four girls moved toward the shop.
Sweet baby pineapple, as Lizbeth would say.
A reprieve.
“I can’t talk right now. I’m at work and some customers are just about to come in.”
“I’ll wait.”
My nostrils flared. Could I kick him out? No. Yes, I could. Did I want to? A little bit, yet not all that much either. Could I makelesssense? My thoughts were half-complete gibberish now.
Part of me saw this very unexpected opportunity as a gift. I longed to talk to him. Sit down, hear what he'd been doing, and why he came. How were things different without me? How were they the same?
We could talk about the good times that mattered. Laugh over old jokes and our favorite old whodunnitmystery movies. The other part wanted him to go so I could thinkthrough this.
The girl leading the pack opened the door and stepped inside. Katrina. Or was it Lolo? I still couldn’t wrap my head around the strangely perfect in-person representation to one of Jess’s characters. Three days had passed since the launch, and I hadn’t seen any sign of her. This must be the group of women that came to do a Jess retreat with her.
Instinct kicked in, saving me from myself.
“Give me a few minutes to help them," I said quietly to Jakob, meeting his inquiring gaze. "I'd like to speak with you."
Lips pressed, he nodded.
"Welcome to the Frolicking Moose," I called as the women assembled in front of the counter. "What can I get you?”
Jakob faded to a table not far away, distant enough he didn't crowd customers but close enough he wouldn't be forgotten.
Katrina popped up to the counter first, a grin on her face. Despite the heat, she wore a pair of black leggings beneath ratted jean shorts. A flowered tank top and bright sunglasses adorned her from waist up. The exact outfit Lolo wore when Adrick confessed he loved her and her quirky self, if I remembered correctly. In the novel, Adrick yanked her close, put his hand in her back pocket, and scolded her for looking so perfect.
Then he kissed her until she couldn’t breathe and slid a ring on her finger in the meantime.
I swallowed when Bastian interposed over Adrick and my brain unravelled.
“My usual!” Katrina cried. “I’ll pay for the rest of these ladies. We’re just finishing up their Jess retreat. They’re heading home later today.”
“Are you staying with us a bit longer?” I asked with a falsely eager smile while I reached for her cake pop.
“A few days.” She gave a vague wave. “Just wrapping a few things up. Mind if we sit at my usual spot?”
