Page 91 of Smoke and Fire
Katrina held herself calmly, but her chin angled up.
"Why wouldn't you? This coffee shop is known as the center of town. I've been here long enough to see that it's true. You're the only barista here that I've seen so far except for a redhead yesterday. If anyone would know Jess, it's you. Jess has been here." Katrina leaned forward. "Iknowshe's used the internet here."
I blinked, attempting to pull my thoughts together.
"Um . . . this is awkward," I whispered. "I . . . listen, I know you really enjoy her books but she clearly doesn't want to be found. Why would you push that? You can't force anyone to reveal themselves."
A flicker of pain crossed her eyes. She shook her head. "No, I don't buy that. I suspect you know who she is and don't want to give her away."
"If that's true, this isn't going to make me want to do it even more."
She rolled her eyes. "I guess I can respect that if you're friends or something, but . . . I just came here to . . . to meet her." Her eyes closed. "Tofinallymeet her. It's been years and years and . . . I deserve that much."
No guile entered her tone at just howweirdthat seemed. Did she think that sort of stalking was okay? A few puzzle pieces were clearly missing here.
"Why would you expect a famous author to reveal herself to you when you stalked her here?"
"I didn't stalk her. It's . . . it's not that hard to trace an IP address. And she's not just a famous author to me."
"IP address tracing is hard for the average human!"
Katrina rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm convinced she's here. It's the perfect place to hide in plain sight. The perfect place to write books for a living. What can I do for you that would convince you to tell me more? Or to tell her that I’m here, if you haven’t already."
Something in her body language clued me in. This was more than just a mystery. Pain lurked beneath Katrina's obsession.
"Why are you so determined to speak to her?" I asked.
Her nostrils flared. Katrina drew in a deep breath, then let it out. "Because I think she knows me," she finally said. She chewed on her bottom lip. "I think she wrote me into her book as Lolo."
"Why would she do that?"
She spoke the words so softly I almost didn't hear her. "Because she loves me."
"I'm sorry," I murmured, utterly confused, "what?"
Frustrated now, Katrina straightened up.
"I just want to talk to her. See her. I want . . . I want to see if my supposition is correct. The person that I am and show up as everyday was frighteningly represented in that book. That can't just be coincidental. She must be Brooke!"
"Brooke? Who is Brooke?"
Katrina pushed on. "There was this girl I dated once online. Brooke. We spoke all the time for years. Years! Together, we had a true, soul-level connection. She . . . anyway, I loved her. A lot. She broke up with me before we could meet in person, and it's possible she catfished me. But I haven't been able to find her ever since and I look for her all the time. She was an avid writer and she loved romance novels. Her greatest dream was to publish her books. When we last spoke, she had some interests from a small publishing company, but she hadn't said who."
Katrina's voice trailed away into a mournful tone. I stared at her, at a loss for words. How could this situation get any weirder?
Any sadder?
"About a year after Brooke disappeared, I stumbled onto Jess," Katrina whispered. "She was a growing name in the romance book world and her writing seemed . . . familiar. She reminded me of Brooke. Then I readLust is a Darkening Hellscapewith Lolo in it. Me in it, essentially. And . . . ever since I read the book, I've had to know. Is Jess really Brooke? So I emailed Jess. Told her how much I loved the book. How much it meant to me. I coded it in a way that Brooke would know it was me. I . . ."
My stomach felt a little tremor of fear when she couldn't finish her sentence. Had Katrina's emails been one of those that were buried in Bastian's life? Had he deleted it without responding—maybe even on accident—and now she felt ignored and slighted and bitter?
"And?" I asked.
Tears filled her eyes. She tried to blink them away, jaw tight, but they glimmered there anyway.
"And Jess sent me a signed copy ofLust is a Darkening Hellscape.At the bottom it said,Love, Jessand had a heart thing drawn underneath it. The same way that Brooke had signed her hand-written notes to me. Except with her name, not Jess. It was a sign. It . . . I was certain of it. JessisBrooke. I've been determined to find her."
With a flood of understanding, my entire body melted. Katrina was a heartbroken, seeking soul attempting to find her new place in a world she hadn't asked for. She wasn't a frightening stalker. Just a woman looking for her love.
