Page 42 of Protect Me
“We can escalate to an emergent one.”
Some of my miserable fear chipped away a little. The gauzy protection of a restraining order wasn’t as physically strong as the walls of a prison, but it gave me the sense of doingsomething.
Would paper stop a man like Timothy?
Or was I the only one that hadn’t forgotten? Timothy had spent the last five years wallowing in prison. He’d either built up an intense hatred against me for putting him there or . . .
He’d moved on.
Maybe I needed to as well.
Until I knew for certain, all was conjecture. The flailing uncertainty is what prodded my rampant anxieties the most.
Kinoshi smiled gently, and the action reminded me of how supportive he’d been when I first approached him, traumatized, but determined to act. Vinita and Amma had held me up the whole time, one on either side. Sometimes physically held me up. At the time, I felt like a torn flower petal. Weak. Fragile.
Crushed.
But I came back.
“Of course, there’s no way to physically enforce the restraining order at first,” Kinoshi continued, as if he sensed my brewing questions, “but it does give you recourse with the law if he attempts to come near you or contact you. While on parole, the rules are more strict and would work in your favor with a restraining order. Local authorities can escalate a situation and he could return to jail if he attempts to do so. It’s a boundary that, if he crosses, has ramifications.”
“It’s something, I guess.”
He shuffled through some paperwork. “Take this home, fill it out, and you can drop it off at my office when you’re done. I’ll start to put everything together for the petition to the judge, and we’ll take it from there.”
The manilla file folder shuffled across the top of the desk, and I leaned forward to accept it. The thickness startled me—there was more paperwork to it than I thought. Filling all those boxes and lines out gave me a sense of dread—just his name brought back thoughts and memories I’d rather not deal with again—but Vinita’s voice in my mind soothed me.
You feel and you deal.
With a deep breath, I pressed my thumb into my palm. The action anchored me into warm memories of Vinita, Amma, Appa, and . . . Vikram. The simple movement brought me out of the quick spiral of terror, as it always had.
If I were honest with myself? Vikram did that more than the trained physical clue. Knowing he was on my side—without knowing the stakes—made me feel far less alone. More able to deal with the ups and downs this world provided.
At this point, I’d take whatever worked.
“Thank you,” I said, meeting Kinoshi’s inquiring gaze. “I can’t tell you what it means to have your help and your speed.”
He stood, offering a hand. “I’m always here for you. No charge for the restraining order of course. I know it can be scary and overwhelming, and you don’t technically need a lawyer to do this. I just want you to know that we’re on your side.”
Tears prickled in my eyes. “Thank you, Kinoshi. That means more than you could ever know.”
His warm smile escorted me out of the office, folder tucked under my arm. The warm sunshine beat on my shoulders, heating them gently. Trucks sped by, towing boats. The sound of distant four wheelers rang in the air. My stomach growled, hungry despite the plate of breakfast Vikram had left for me in the morning with a note that said,Enjoy.
Kinoshi’s kind, reserved face laid to rest some of the building fear that had accumulated inside me. The sunshine dispelled the rest.
A text message dinged on my phone, and my traitorous heart leaped at the thought that it might be Vik. The escalating beat calmed when I saw the name.
Bethany:Hey chica! I’ve been browsing listings every morning and evening and haven’t seen any new rentals pop up. I’ll keep an eye out and let you know.
Katelyn:Thank you! I’ll keep an eye peeled as well.
Bethany:Thereareplaces available, but not anything that I’d want a single woman being part of. We’ll get you something safe and affordable, I know it. It just takes awhile when you stay in the mountains.
Her last comment sent a frisson of uncertainty through me.
WhydidI stay in the mountains?
Why not move somewhere else? I could be a barista at any coffee shop, so what was the draw to stay here?
