Page 87 of Protect Me
“No,” I quickly said, “I like it. I’m just formulating a reply that doesn’t make me sound like a selfish bastard.”
“What do you mean?”
I pulled on the oars, buying myself a few more moments to scramble for the right words. What the hell was I doing? There were norightwords. There were just words. She’d have to love them or hate them.
“Well, I say to hell with keeping yourself safe. Let me protect you.”
Kate went totally still. Eventually, she straightened. I expected her to jump over the canoe, but she leaned closer.
“You say that, Vik, but . . .”
“I mean it.”
“The implication has commitment written all over it. You spent your life declaring that your personality doesn’t thrive in a committed world. You want freedom and openness and agency. While that happens in a relationship, it’s not the same.”
The barb struck right where it should—at the very heart center of my pain. I swallowed it, accepting the jab for what it was.
The truth.
“I know that such a statement implies commitment. I’m comfortable with that.”
Kate tilted her chin a little higher. “Really?”
“The thought of losing you is more powerful than the other fears, and that’s never happened before. You’re not the only one that’s afraid, Kate. Not the only one that is trying to venture into an unsafe world and do something new.”
“Oh.”
The sound was more surprise than understanding. Behind her dark glasses, I imagined her blinking. Could practicallyhearher thoughts from here. She wondered if I could be trusted, or if this was me attempting to win a conquest to prove something.
She put a piece of herself out there last night. I hoped she saw this as a reciprocal movement.
“You don’t have to do anything with what I just admitted,” I said quietly. “I only wanted you to know that I’m interested in something deeper than friendship between us, all right? I’m also going to suck at it,” I added in a poor attempt at levity.
She snorted.
To have something to do, I continued pulling on the oars. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel trapped out on the lake with me, so I angled back toward land. The shore came into view at my back, not far from the Frolicking Moose. She’d be able to see her escape, at least.
Kate licked her lips and gazed away.
“Can I think about this?” she murmured quietly. “It feels . . . overwhelming. There’s more that you don’t . . .”
Her voice faded.
Relief washed through me. It wasn’t a rebuttal or dismissal, at least. In truth, I wanted the time too.
With a nod I said, “Take all the time you need.”
ChapterTwenty-One
KATELYN
Vini’s voice screeched through the phone.
“He said what?”
I closed my eyes and groaned. “Don’t make me repeat it again.”
“You’d better!”
