Page 28 of Penance
“Yeah, kid, I’m serious, but—”
That one word takes the wind out of his sails. His shoulders slump. “Go ahead. Let’s hear it. Tell me all the rules that will take every bit of fun out of this.”
Standing, I adjust my tie and shove my hands in my pockets, feeling like a monkey in a suit even though I’m only wearing dress pants and a button-up. I’m far more comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt, another thing that was always a source of contention for Josephine and me.
“Look, kid, I don’t have any rules. Not really.” I pause, gaining my bearings. My tie is starting to choke me, and I off-handedly wonder if I will pass out by the end of the day. “I just want you to promise me you will be smart about this, okay? If you start having problems, don’t lie. I have to know I can trust you to tell me the truth.”
“You can trust me, Dad. I swear.”
He answered too quickly—and that scares me—but I nod anyway, pretending it doesn’t. “One other thing—”
Tanner groans. “Dad—”
“No, Tanner, just one more. I know things have been hard between us, but I would like to get to know you. I’m honored to be your coach, but I want to be your dad, too. Will you—uh—will you at least give me a chance to try? That’s all I’m asking.”
One chance. That’s all I’ve ever wanted with Tanner, and there wasa time I didn’t think I’d get it, both because of Josephine and because of my own choices. But that chance is within reach now, and I won’t let it slip through my fingers this time.
Tanner’s face is blank as he studies me, and I wonder if I’ve pushed him too far—moved backward instead of forward—but after a second, he gives me a sharp nod. It’s enough to help me breathe normally again.
“Good,” I say as an uncomfortable silence descends upon the room.
I clear my throat while Tanner shuffles his feet, stumbling over his shoestring. He gives an awkward laugh and kneels down to finish tying them. Flipping my wrist, I check my watch and curse when I see the time.
“Come on, kid. We have to go,” I say, grabbing my wallet and keys from the table.
He stands up again but doesn’t move from where he’s standing.
Dad—” his voice is hesitant, and I turn to face him.
“Yeah, kid?” I ask, a little distracted.
“I prayed for this, you know.”
That gets my attention, and I pull my head up to study him. He’s staring back at me, waiting for my answer, but I’m not sure what to say. I’ve been around religion all my life. My mother believed in God but in a passive way. We didn’t go to church, but I believed in him all the same. It was that belief that helped me get sober, but only in the sense that I hoped there was something out there bigger than myself. When I got sober, I knew God existed, but I figured I had a lot to make up for before he’d want something to do with me.
“Prayed about what?” I ask, swallowing to keep my voice from shaking.
“About baseball. Coach Miller taught me. We’ve been talking about God, and he makes it seem pretty cool, ya know?”
“Hayes Miller in touch with a higher power. Who knew?” I can’tkeep the sarcasm from my voice. Something about the guy brings out the worst in me.
“Why don’t you like him?” The surly teenager is back in his voice in full force as if the last five minutes of peace didn’t happen.
I sigh, pushing my hand into my hair and tugging at the roots. A headache starts forming behind my eyes, and we haven’t even made it to court yet. “I like him just fine, Tanner.”
I’ve never been good at lying, and Tanner sees straight through me.
“Yeah, okay, Dad. Whatever you say.” Rolling his eyes, he walks past me to the front door. “I’m going to drive. I have to work after this.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond before he’s out the door and slamming it behind him, and I’m left with a hundred and one of my mistakes.
Chapter 10
Theo
My head is pounding when I reach the courthouse, and I’d do just about anything to turn around and go back home. Unfortunately, my ex-wife is a narcissist, and that won’t be happening. So, with great reluctance, I get out of my truck and walk into the courthouse.
The building sits in the middle of the town square. It’s one of the older buildings in town, with beautiful red bricks and proud white pillars standing tall. It’s part of what makes Benton Falls so picturesque when you drive into town. I usually love this building, but walking into it now feels like stepping into hell.
