Page 4 of Penance
His words are like a splinter under my ribs, digging deep each time I try to pull them out and ignore them.
The song’s melody slowly fades away, and I take advantage of it, stepping out of Theo’s arms. My skin feels chilled the moment I do, the December air bleeding into the room more than I realized before. I grit my teeth, trying not to let him know how close he came to hitting the nail on the head.
“Thanks for the dance, Theo. I’ll see you around.”
I don’t let myself look back as I walk off the dance floor and out of the room.
Chapter 1
Lily
I’ve experienced a lot of embarrassing things in my life. Growing up with clothes that were rarely washed and never fit. The time my mom puked all over my prom date because she was drunk. Chasing after a man I had no intentions of falling in love with. I still cringe when I look back on each of those things, but nothing will ever be as embarrassing as the predicament I am in now—desperately clinging to a tree as a fire blazes in the building beside me.
My fingertips ache from holding onto the bark, and my skin is slicked with sweat from the fire. I’m lying on a limb two stories off the ground. It’s barely big enough to hold my weight. My legs are numb from how tightly I have them wrapped around it, and fear pumps heavy through my veins.
I will not die today. I will not die today.
I’ve been chanting that in my head since I found the fire in the community center’s upper level and stupidly tried to put it out. Except it spread faster than I could control, and before I knew it, I was climbing out a second-story window onto a limb.
Maybe I could have waited for the fire department, but out of the two options, there was only one logical solution in my mind. I would rather face falling to my death by climbing down this tree than give Theo Sylvis the satisfaction of coming to my rescue.
Sure, he may not be on shift today, but I know my luck—I wasn’t chancing it. So I climbed out the window, onto the nearest branch, and didn’t think twice about it—until now.
Sirens pierce the night air, and desperation claws at my chest.
“This cannot be happening.”
Muttering to myself is my first slip into insanity—or maybe I’ve been on this path far longer than I’d like to admit. There’s only so much a person can take before their mind cracks, and this—this might be my breaking point, especially if I don’t get out of this stupid tree before that firetruck shows up.
Panic slices through my chest and into my veins.
One Mississippi. Two Mississippi…
Counting is a habit I should have outgrown a long time ago, but when you come from a family like mine, some trauma responses stick around.
In order to get out of this tree, I have to open my eyes, but opening my eyes means facing the fact that I stupidly climbed out of a two-story window onto a tree when I am deathly afraid of heights.
Glass shatters beside me, and I jerk, nearly losing my grip on the tree. The scream that rips out of me burns my throat until I’m choking on fear and smoke. Hot tears trace the curve of my cheek, dropping onto the ground far below me, but I keep my eyes closed.
Regret is another emotion I’m all too familiar with, and tonight, it burns as hot as the fire beside me.
“Listen, God,” I say, squeezing my legs tighter. My fingers ache so badly I fear they might fall off. “I know we don’t know each other, but I’ve heard talk about you. So let’s make a deal, okay? You get me out of here, and I promise to be a better person. Maybe even go to church. How about it?”
Growing up, I was never around anyone who went to church. It wasn’t until I moved to Benton Falls that I met people who actuallydid—Abigail Harrison being one of them. We’ve talked about God a few times, but I can’t wrap my head around the concept. It’s not that I don’t believe there’s something out there bigger than us. It’s the concept of infinite forgiveness I can’t comprehend. Because you’re telling me there’s a man who died so thateveryonecan be forgiven?
Forgiveness isn’t that simple.
“Hey, hopeless.” A voice breaks through my thoughts; unfortunately, it’s a voice I’m familiar with.
It’s deep and comforting, and that alone is enough to convince me I would have been better off falling out of the tree.
Slowly, I crack one eye open, dread flipping in my stomach because I already know who I will find—a dark-haired man who I hardly know, yet somehow, still manages to cause funny feelings inside my chest when I look at him.
Theo Sylvis stands below me, looking up at me with a smug grin. My breath snags in my throat as our eyes clash, and his grin tilts higher. Although the darkness of the night casts shadows over him, he is still the kind of handsome man who steals your breath away. The kind that makes you wonder how a man like him can exist in real life. But there’s also something more there, too. Something darker. I’ve never quite been able to put my finger on it, but every time I get a glimpse, it sends a shiver down my spine.
Comfort is an illusion, especially in a man like him. Theo is dangerous because he’s the type of man a girl could fall for, and if I ever were to lose my head and let him get too close, he’d be hell on my heart.
And I promised myself a long time ago that I would never fall for a man like him—the kind a girl could love.
