Page 80 of The Best Kind of Forever
I let my guard down, even after being hurt multiple times in the past. I knew better, yet I was so blinded by the possibility of a life I never thought I could have that it came back to bite me in the ass. And now I’m paying for it—every insufferable second.
And the worst part of it all? I had my doubts. I had my doubts, and I didn’t listen to them.
“Yes, in the beginning, I was looking for a fake relationship. No, I didn’t expect to fall in love with anyone. But I knew after our first date that I wanted to give this thing a chance. Arealchance,” he yells over the rain, the torrential downpour sticking his hair to his forehead and soaking through his shirt.
“Why didn’t you tell me then? I would’ve understood.”
“I wanted to, but the guys said…”
There’s a lick of animosity in my eyes. “Oh, I know you’re not blaming this on your teammates,” I snarl.
A frown scurries onto his lips, and he shakes his head. “Shit. No. That came out wrong. I should’ve been honest with you. You didn’t deserve any of this. Please know that I’d take everything back in a heartbeat.”
My tears begin to fall steadily now, and it’s the first time Hayes doesn’t reach out to wipe them away. God, as much as I hate him right now, I can’t get the memories to stop charging through me. When we first danced together, when he said those things about my body, when he told me he loved me for the first time. I want the pain to go away. I want to forget everything.
I wish I’d never met Hayes Hollings that night at the bar. I wish I’d never fallen for him.
This is the moment that breaks me. It reduces me to a wailing mess, tears down the walls that have been standing guard over my emotions for twenty-three years, and takes my heart and flattens it to a barely beating organ.
“Aeris…”
“No, no, no. I can’t do this again. I can’t. You knew how Wilder treated me, how my father treated me. I’m not going to let someoneevertreat me like that again. And that includes you.”
The bulging veins in his forearms arrow down toward clenched fists, and I can tell he wants to move toward me.
My voice is strangled with emotion. “My dad was right about you.”
Even though it came out barely above a whisper, it might have well been as loud as the thunder overhead.
“What did you just say?” he snaps, seconds away from unleashing the temper I know he’s been suppressing this entire time.
“My dad warned me about you. He told me about your relationship with Sienna and how you were only interested in saving your image. I didn’t listen to him, though, because I couldn’tpossiblybelieve that you would be capable of something like that.”
“Wow. So I haven’t been the only one keeping secrets, yet I’m the one being punished?”
“Would you have wanted me to believe my dad? Would you have wanted me to bring it up to you?” I spit, a sick part of me knowing deep down that Hayes is right.
“You’re a hypocrite, Aeris. And being a hypocrite is worse than being a liar.”
The needle-sharp sting of his tone makes me rubber-kneed and teary-eyed, more so than I was before. He’s not arguing for the sake of winning—he’s stating a hard, cold fact. I’d hate myself if I wasn’t so mad at him.
“We’re done, Hayes,” I determine, nearly tripping over a curb as I back away from him.
I don’t know what I expected him to say, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t fight for me. He just…watches as I walk away, and that somehow hurts even more.
37
EIGHT HUNDRED MILES AND COUNTING
AERIS
Ican’t believe I’m doing this. I have to be the stupidest person on the entire planet. I just spent all my money on a ticket to Oregon—a ticket that cost me at least a month’s worth of groceries and utilities.
Yesterday, I would’ve rather slathered myself in honey and let my body be consumed by carnivorous bugs than ever consider being in a ten-foot radius of the person I’m going to visit.
My dad.
But I needed an excuse to get away. I needed to find out what my father knows.
