Page 51 of The Cruelest Kind of Hate

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GAGE:God, woman. Will you just come outside? You’re ruining the surprise.

CALISTA:If this is a quickie in the back of your car, I’m not interested.

GAGE:Who do you take me for?

CALISTA:Do you really want me to answer that question?

GAGE:*expressionless face emoji* Fine then. I guess you don’t want the California roll I brought you.

CALISTA:You brought me dinner?

GAGE:Yes, Calista, because unlike you, I actually care about your well-being.

CALISTA:Gage, you didn’t have to bring me dinner.

GAGE:I did because you probably would’ve forgotten to eat otherwise. Am I wrong?

CALISTA:…

GAGE:Exactly.

CALISTA:I can take care of myself.

GAGE:I know you can, but that doesn’t mean you have to all the time.

CALISTA:Thank you. Ugh, I don’t like it when you’re all…nice.

GAGE:Oh, so you mean all the time?

CALISTA:HA. I think that’s the first funny joke you’ve made since I met you.

GAGE:Wooow. You know what? I think the rabid squirrels down at the park will enjoy some fifty-dollar sushi.

CALISTA:FIFTY DOLLARS? You spent fifty dollars on a single roll?

GAGE:I would’ve bought the hundred-dollar one with the gold flakes if they weren’t out of it.

CALISTA:Now you’re just showing off.

GAGE:No, Spitfire. You’re worth the most expensive sushi in the world.

CALISTA:Ugh! Stop being so…so…

GAGE:Charming? Sexy? Hilariously endearing? *winky face*

CALISTA:…

GAGE:I’m just going to pretend that you’re so overcome with gratitude that you can’t think of a sufficient enough adjective to describe me.

CALISTA:Sure. Let’s go with that.

GAGE:Now come out here. I’m lacking some Vitamin You right now and need my next dose before I die.

CALISTA:That’s the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard. And you have some serious issues.

GAGE:Nope. Just separation anxiety.

CALISTA:Print my face out on a piece of paper and stick it to your body pillow.

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