Page 41 of The First Kind of Love
Despite the heavy topic, a small smile blooms across her face. “It’s okay. It took me a while to realize that punishing myself for his death wasn’t going to change anything. Reliving the past wasn’t going to alter the future. As devastated as I was, I had to remind myself that I was a good sister to him while he was still alive.”
I nod, and my insecurity suddenly seems like a flesh wound compared to her bone-deep trauma. I didn’t really intend to say anything, much less anticipate how she’d respond, but now I wish I’d never posed the question in the first place.
Can’t you do anything right?
But then, out of nowhere, she grabs my hand, and my sadness buckles under a compassion strong enough to usher in the yolk-colored afterglow of an impending sunrise. Her eyes glimmer with an understanding that I once believed to be extinct.
“You’re more than good enough, Shiloh. I’m sorry that the world’s tricked you into believing otherwise. But if there’s anything I’ve learned in my twenty-eight years, it’s that resentment can ruin you faster than anything else in this world.”
If I wasn’t so embarrassed about crying in public, I’d be knee-deep in tears by now. There’s a relief in knowing that I can confide in someone besides Fulton—a relief that I’m not the only person who’s struggled to carry the weight of a purposeless existence.
“You’re always so nice to me, and I’m practically a stranger.”
“Maybe we can fix that.” She squeezes my palm. “I know you’re probably going to think I’m crazy for asking this—andyou can totally decline—but would you be one of my bridesmaids?”
Wow. That’s…is it wrong of me to think that she may be a little off her rocker? I haven’t done anything to deserve that title.
“Are you sure? That’s a really big commitment. I don’t want to impose.”
“You wouldn’t be at all. Everyone wants to see you walk down the aisle with Fulton. And if we had met sooner, I know we would’ve already been friends.”
My fingers curl around hers with newfound hope. “I’d be honored.”
The fitting procession begins smoothly, and about an hour later, Aeris is on her third dress—this one having a long train and a curve-hugging silhouette that cinches in at the waist and emphasizes her generous cleavage. It’s beautiful. I mean, every dress has lookedstunningon her, but I can tell this isn’t the one.
She twirls a few times in front of the floor-length mirror, turning back around with a frown draped over her lips. “Ideally? It’s gorgeous. But practical? Hardly. I feel like I can’t breathe.”
Lila gives a low whistle. “If you choose that one, a hundred bucks says Hayes will get a boner before the ring ceremony.”
The bridal party devolves into wheezing laughter, the overlap of slurred voices warning other soon-to-be-wed customers of the dangers of a bottomless alcohol tab. Cali’s to the point of tears, Faye’s bent over at the middle, and Josie’s entered hiccup territory while her glass rocks in her hand like she’s on a boat.
“Three hundred says he creams his pants,” Cali says.
Aeris rolls her umber eyes, scoffing. “That wouldnothappen. Hayes is a big boy. He can control himself.”
“Right, and Gage is a God-loving Christian who could never fathom the idea of placing his hands on a woman.”
“You’ve all had too much to drink.”
Lila thrusts an extra flute of champagne that just magically appeared out of thin air in Aeris’ direction, goading her with a conspiratorial eyebrow raise. “And you haven’t had enough. You’re getting married, Aer-Bear! You should be drunk off your pretty little ass!”
Aeris looks like she’s about to fold for a second, but she resists with superwoman strength, an amused chuckle curtailing her departure into the dressing room. “You guys are bad influences!” she shouts, the clink of hangers and the shuffle of fabric sounding like some kind of cage match behind those dandelion-yellow walls. “I need to be sober enough to pick the right dress, and you’re all about as helpful as tits on a bull. Except for you, Shiloh. You’re perfect. Thanks for being here.”
I feel my cheeks ignite, and when I swallow, it’s embarrassingly loud. “Of course. I’m honored that you invited me to come.”
“Don’t be silly. You’re a part of the Reapers family now. It was honestly a given considering how long Fulton’s?—”
“Aeris!” Lila interjects, jerking so forcefully that some of her champagne sloshes in her glass.
The whole room goes cricket quiet, and I have no idea what just happened, but I’m a host to a plethora of fears right now, the silence startling and seemingly unnatural amongst a group of intoxicated twenty-somethings.
Why is everyone looking at me like I just killed someone? Why did Lila cut Aeris off? Do they know something I don’t?
Aeris’ accidental, almost bean spillage is like a flame to a goddamn powder keg, and I’m the poor bastard about to experience my first trial run through hell.
“How long Fulton’s…what?” I ask, worrying my bottom lip, the words harder for me to chew than a mouthful of gristle.
A number of things could come out of her mouth right now, and Aeris doesn’t strike me as the type of person who’s good at keeping secrets.
