Page 10 of Concussion Protocol
After popping the lasagna in the oven, I start a pot of coffee and then head into my bedroom to change. I briefly consider jerking off, only because I think maybe I could act like a halfway normal person if I wasn't walking around with a half chub. But then the shower cuts off and I think better of it. Getting caught with mydick in my hand is absolutely not going to make Shane feel more comfortable around me. I need to be doing whatever I can to make sure he doesn't think I'm a creep. With that in mind, I pull on a pair of sweatpants.
I'm in the kitchen pouring myself a cup of coffee when he comes out.
He clears his throat. My head snaps up to find him leaning on the other side of the kitchen island, wearing only a pair of tight, dark red boxer briefs. I do a double take before drinking him in. He has a much smaller frame than I do, but his body is lean and fit. He doesn't have large muscles or cut abs, but he's well defined from his pecs down to his flat stomach. There's a dark line of hair running from below his belly button down into the tight red briefs that I have a sudden urge to rub my face against.
I swallow thickly before meeting his eyes again.
"And here I thought you were really into the underwear thing for some reason." His tone suggests sarcasm and humor, but there are obvious underlying nerves there that I want to dispel immediately.
Without another thought, I swiftly drop my sweatpants to the floor and step out of them. My abs clench as his eyes roam over my body. I work out a lot, and I've never had any confidence issues when it comes to my body. But for some reason, I'm desperate for him to like what he sees. I'm also desperate for my dick to stop filling with all the blood that feels as if it’s draining from my head, because I don't want to scare him off by getting another boner.
Shane drops his eyes to where the front of my briefs is starting to tent and then drags them back up my body. He smirks. "Pills setting in?"
I swallow the saliva pooling in my mouth and shake my head. "No pills. High on life."
He chuckles and then cocks his head.
"Jon?"
"Yes, Shane?" I say, mimicking his serious tone.
"Are you straight?"
Despite how it might look right now, and the thoughts that have been running rampant in my brain since seeing him yesterday, I'm not. I've been curious about other guys before, but I've never acted on it. Truthfully, I've been curious abouthimbefore. But he was unattainable, and practically a stranger, at that.
I shake my head.
"Are you bi or pan?"
Rolling my lips in, I give him the most honest non-answer I can give him. I shrug. Because I don't know what I am.
"Have you ever been with a man, or fooled around with another guy?"
I don't want to answer, because I'm afraid it might turn him off. Not that he's necessarily interested in whatever it is I have to offer, other than I suppose being his general type. But I don’t want to lie to him again. Not about this.
"Never wanted to before," I say, my voice raspy with nerves. God, I sound pathetic. "Not until I saw you."
"Are you still loopy?" he asks with a chuckle.
"No, but also… I saw you way before yesterday." I cringe. "That sounds creepy. I just meant that I remember you from when you were dating Eric. I noticed you then. I remember thinking you deserved better."
There's an unreadable expression on Shane's face as he steps forward. "And you think you can do better?"
"It's a low bar," I say, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “But I think I meet the rest of your criteria?”
Shane steps into my space and places a hand on the center of my chest. He stares at his hand splayed across my skin. His fingers flex, and mine copy the movement at my sides. I’m aching to touch him the way he’s touching me. He moves his hand across my chest, up to my neck, then down the back of my shoulder and around again. Then he trails his fingers down my abs to the waistband of my underwear and my body jerks involuntarily as I clench everything to keep from coming. I don't think I've ever been this keyed up in my life, and the last time I came in my pants, I had braces and there was a whole lot of friction involved.
Shane barely touched me, and I'm having to breathe through my nose to hold myself back.
Fuck, what would it be like if he touched my cock? If he let me touch him?
That thought alone is enough to make me so hard my stomach hurts.
My eyes drop between us, and I see that he isn't unaffectedby me, either. That’s reassuring. I mean, I thought I felt something between us, but it would be pretty douchey of me to assume he’sinto me just because he’s gay and I fit a general description of his physical type.
His skin is warm and soft beneath my skin when I place my hands on either side of his waist and draw him in closer. I run my thumbs up and down his sides, fascinated by the way his skin lights up with pink splotches and goosebumps.
“Will you tell me how?” His eyes meet mine curiously. “How to touch you, I mean. Tell me what to do?”
