Page 72 of Full Split
He doesn’t say the words, but something in his tone sounds like, “Remind me why I thought this was worth it.”
His fingers find my zipper. I don’t stop him when he pulls it down, too frozen to do or say anything. He pulls my cock—hard, like it always is around him—from my underwear. The pressure of him lining himself up snaps me out of it. My hands spring up from where I’ve been white-knuckling the edges of the chair and grip his waist, keeping him from sinking down.
“You’re not ready,” I say, remembering the time he’d told me he needs prep before penetration. “It’ll hurt.”
His eyes fill with tears. “I want it to hurt. I need it to hurt.”
“No.” I shake my head firmly. “I’ve hurt you enough. I won’t do that.”
“You didn’t hurt me,” he says. “Ihurt me. My stupidity hurt me.”
“Stop it, Niles. You’re not stupid. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“We both did something very, very wrong. And now we’re being punished for it.”
My heart sinks. There’s a list as long as my arm why this relationship is wrong on paper, abhorrent, even, but I want to believe that it’s pure and right. That we were exactly what each other needed, even though the odds were stacked against us.
“Not that,” Niles says gloomily. “I don’t care what anyone says, this isn’t wrong to me. I’ve never felt anything so right.” He sniffs. “What we did wrong was not tell Weston from the beginning. Or at least as soon as you figured out this was real.”
I laugh despite my tears. It’s true, I was the hold out.
“I tried so hard not to want you. Not to love you. And now I’m afraid I might need you.”
“I need you right now,” he pleads.
“Not like this.”
He climbs off me, and I immediately start to follow, to assure him I’m not rejecting him. I just don’t want to hurt him. I refuse to damage him in any other way than I already have.
“Sit,” he says.
I pause first, furrowing my brow. But slowly, I sit.
He raises an eyebrow. “Good boy.”
He has that gleam in his eyes again, shining through the watery sheen of tears. He’s dangerous. Dangerous, perfect, and impossible.
Niles walks over to the bedside table, pumps some lube into his hand, and comes back. He directs me to strip, which I do from my seat because I’m not sure what will happen if I try to stand again.
He climbs back up in my lap and seizes my dick, pumping the lube over the crown and shaft. Chancing some movement, I swipe a finger over the head, gathering some lube and a drop of pre-cum that his aggressive pumping squeezed out. I reach between his legs and stroke his cock while he’s stroking me. He sucks in a shaky breath, letting me get his body ready, but when I try to finger him, he stops me. He hasn’t come yet, but obviously I’m not going to touch him in any way he doesn’t want me to.
“Let me have it just a little,” he rasps.
Just a little pain?I don’t know how I feel about that, but I can see there’s more to this.He looks away from me like he’s ashamed to be asking for this. I grip his chin and make him look me in the eye. I search the stormy ocean for any signs that I might not be doing the right thing.
“Don’t ever be ashamed to ask me for something. And don’t ever be ashamed to say no. My boundary is hurting you.”
He nods. “I know my body.”
“Okay,” I whisper, and pull him in for a kiss. I don’t know why, but letting him fuck me without kissing me first makes me feel sick to my stomach.
He slides down my cock without warning. He gasps, breathing in my shout. There’s almost no pause for either of us to adjust before he’s raising himself up again and slamming down. Holding onto the back of the chair, he uses his powerful thighs to work himself up and down.
I run my hands up his legs, drag my thumb across his cock. He throws his head back and arches his back, adding a roll to his hips that has me wanting to go into a rut like some kind of animal. Instead, I dig my fingers into the meat of his ass and thrust my hips up to meet him.
Fucking hell, I need to work on my stamina. He’s been on my dick for two minutes and I can feel my balls tightening. I bring a hand between us again and rub his cock. My fingers keep slipping off it with the frantic movement of his hips and how wet he is.
Niles leans forward and kisses me hard. I groan against his mouth, and he grins.
