Page 75 of Fixation
“Don’t give a fuck,” I sing-song, pretending my chest isn’t lighter. Butterflies aren’t assaulting my stomach as we speak. This isn’t happening. Not to me. “Don’t give a fuck.”
“No one’s caught my attention before you. I’ve never had a relationship. Never cared for anyone. No. One.” Cold soap lands on my arm, rubbed into my skin by Anderson’s hot touch. His glare is as icy as ever. “You, Harper, had me in a fucking chokehold from the moment I saw you. You’ve been dragging me to you ever since. Haven’t let go. About goddamn time I do the same.”
13
HARPER
No man has ever touched me the way Anderson is does. Brutally rough and obsessively careful. Harsh in a commanding way, but also so smooth.
He’s lathering soap over my arm, then my fingers. Moves on to my chest, leaning over to reach my other arm.
We aren’t talking.
My body tells him a million stories, regardless.
My taut nipples say,Please, yes, grab my right breast like that. Touch my left one like this.
My soaked pussy begs him,Open my legs—oh God, yes. I love the way you’re rubbing me.
My labored breaths scream at him that,If you ever let go of my thighs and calves and feet, I’ll go insane.
This is the most nurtured and most aroused and most debased I’ve ever been.
“Do you believe me now? Do you see how much I care? How much I need you to get better?” He strokes my arm, lathering soap over it. When he moves to clean my armpit, it doesn’t tickle. How is that even possible? “Yes, you do. Your pupils are huge. Those full lips are parted. You get off on humiliation, but you wouldn’t be this hot if you thought I wanted to kill you. Tolock you up in here for life for the fuck of it. Deep down, you understand who I really am. What you mean to me.”
“You’re touching me. My body reacts.” I frown. I huff. I watch him with rapt attention as he dips the washcloth in the silver bowl. “That’s how it works. I thought you were a doctor.”
“I am.” He rubs the washcloth over me like he lathered soap into my skin. A well-oiled, thoughtful machine.
There’s only so much sensory overload I can absorb without bursting.
It isn’t seduction. It’s a strategy, meant to drive me out of my mind.
Tears burn the corners of my eyes. I don’t want to feel this. Don’t want to be grateful.
I’m compelled to be.
I was alone at home before I came to the hospital.
Lonely and helpless.
And really, really sick.
With him, I’m okay. I’m not lonely or coughing or feverish. He didn’t hesitate at the hospital. He took me in.
He’s done so much for me because he cares. Because I matter to him.
So much.
Then again…
My eyes glide over the front of my body. I’m clean on the outside. On the inside, I’ve never felt dirtier. More filthy.
“Are you a virgin?” His question is a demand.
I snap my gaze at him. “Excuse me?”
His fingers grasp my chin, tilting my head higher. “Have you ever been fucked, Harper?”
