Page 78 of Fixation
And his being dangerous turns me on.
“I’m going to clean you between your legs.”
A decent doctor wouldn’t say that.Between your legs. He’d say vulva. He’d ask for permission.
He wouldn’t get hard doing it.
A decent doctor wouldn’t put up this act. Anderson does. With him, it’s as if he’s doing everything in his power to stay composed while he’s about to defile me.
What a horrible way to manipulate me into believing he’s a good man.
He isn’t. I have to remember that, as challenging as it is.
Or. Am I being ungrateful?
“It might be awkward at first.”
That sentence. It startles me. It gets me out of my head, makes me stop doubting myself.
Becausefuck. The nerve of him.
“This might be awkward?” I snap. “As opposed to what? Being kidnapped and touched in my sleep?”
“You might react to it.” I don’t fight. What’s the use? He’ll just ignore me, in that sexy, confident doctor way of his. “But I want to reassure you that anything that happens is perfectly natural.”
He wraps a hand around my hip, and I gulp, reality sinking in. This won’t end with a quick brush of my privates. He’s fighting his urges, and he’s losing.
I’m just as lost to it.
“Say you understand.” His palm faces up. There’s soap there, and this isn’t the first time he’s washed me. Before, I was knocked out, sedated. He’s going to show me what he did now. “I won’t touch you unless you tell me you do.”
Frustration heats my cheeks. How dare he act as if I have a choice? How dare I like this game? “I understand, Dr. Maguire.”
“Good.” Every time he says that, I hear what he’s holding back on. He wants to call megood girl,and he’s doing everything in his power not to.
While I do my best to silence my moans.
Two long fingers press over my pussy, andholy fuck.
Holy. Fuck.
His touch is highly impersonal. More so than ever before. Blunt. Methodical. Efficient.
My thighs shake, hands clinging to the sheets.
“Almost done.” He drags his fingers up and down between my lips, then pushes them in, just up to the first knuckle. His voice thickens with lust. “You’re doing so well. I know it must feel strange…having your doctor clean you like this. But look at you, staying perfectly still. You should be proud of yourself.”
What I should do is stop wanting this. Put an end to this fucked-up orgasm that winds up inside me.
Instead, I lie there, ass up, letting him rub me.
“Better.” Humiliation and desire bang inside my chest while Anderson’s attention remains fixed on my ass. While his fingers rise to my tightest hole. “Relax for me. It will hurt less that way.”
“Please.” I can’t be ready for this, for his finger in my ass.
I can’t like it.
He’ll make me like it. He’ll coax me, force me, touch me until my soul shatters and my heart gives in to him.
