Page 110 of Stick With Me
Leaving you in bed, even just to go downstairs, is hard. It’s going to be even harder to sleep away from you for the next 6 days on this road series. I already can’t wait to come home to you.
I can practically hear his voice as I trace the messy handwriting with my fingers. Home is no longer just a place. It’shim.
Curiosity gets the best of me, and I pull out the box from my closet where I’ve kept all the paper planes Ryan’s made for me over the years. There’s more than a dozen, each carefully folded and tucked away. I’d written the dates on the wings to keep track of them, and as I unfold the first one, I find matching dates inside, along with the messages he left me.
[August, six years ago]
I don’t know your name yet, but you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.
[September, six years ago]
I watched you lick ice cream off your lip today and wanted nothing more than to be the one to clean that spot with my tongue. If you only knew how often I thought about kissing you…
[October, six years ago]
Nicknames
Hannah Banana: because it rhymes, obviously.
Clarkson: as much as you love to sing along to the radio, you’re adorably tone-deaf.
Sunshine: you’re from the Sunshine State… and you light me up, ha! I know, cheesy… but true.
Every note feels like a snapshot of our journey together—small reminders of the years we’ve shared. Each message is so Ryan, and I can’t help but smile as I read through them. It’s funny to see them now, with my new perspective, knowing how much he felt even back then. Sometimes I wish I had known. If things might have ended up differently. But I’m here now, and I’m glad for it.
I quickly stand, searching for a sheet of paper as an idea forms in my mind. Without hesitation, I begin to execute it, folding the paper carefully before I return to read the rest of the letters.
[October, six years ago]
You made an adorable Robin to my Batman. But you also met him tonight, and I already have a feeling I’m going to regret it for a while.
Thinking back on that night, it all seems so obvious. Everything I didn’t see then now feels glaringly clear. How could I have missed it? The dynamic between Ryan and me shifted after that night. If I had known about his feelings back then, would I have even been open to Jace? I know I wouldn’t have been.
I’d had a crush on Ryan since the moment he flew the first paper plane to me in calculus class, but he kept his feelings so guarded, and his dedication to hockey seemed like his only focus. I never imagined he’d return my crush. In fact, I thought he introduced me to Jace as a way to let me down easy. I shake my head, pushing that thought aside.It all worked out in the end,I remind myself.
Everything happened the way it was meant to, even if it took us a while to get here. Now that we’ve found our way to each other, I know it’s where we’ll stay. With each other. Together. A smile pulls at my lips, warmth flooding through me at the thought.
[July, five years ago]
I wasn’t drafted… but he was. The only thing that made it better was you showing up with a bottle of tequila and your smiling face. You told me it’ll all work out, and I want to believe it’s true.
[February, four years ago]
It happened, Sunshine! And best of all, I get to stay here in Chicago with you.
[May, four years ago]
You’re leaving today for Texas, and I hate it. But I want you to be happy. I hope you’re happy.
[March, three years ago]
I’m mailing you this paper plane because I can’t get on a real one to come see you. This whole living in different states kind of sucks.
[September, two years ago]
Happy Birthday, Sunshine! Did you know nineteen is my favorite number? It’s the day you came into this world and into my life… I mean, it’s gotta be fate, right? Hopefully, it’ll continue to give me good luck this upcoming season, wearing it on my back.
[June, ten months ago]
