Page 111 of Stick With Me
I sent flowers and a polite card congratulating you and Knolls on your engagement. I ripped up two of those little cardstocks before I finally managed to write something. I want you to be happy, and if it’s with him, I’ll accept it, but fuck, does it hurt.
[February, two months ago]
Confession: I bought this brownstone for you. It feels safe to tell you now, since I know you never read these. Remember that weekend we pretended to be a married couple and went to an open house? This place reminds me of that. Maybe one day, we won’t just be pretending.
A sob shudders out of my chest.This man.
“Shit.” I recognize Ryan’s voice, but his figure, frozen mid-step in the doorway, is blurred by the moisture in my eyes.
He makes his way toward me, carefully moving the letters out of the way to clear a spot on the floor in front of me. Kneeling, he takes my face gently in his large hands, wiping away the tears escaping from my eyes.
As my vision clears, I can see the humor in his expression. “I take it you finally read them…” he teases, his voice light.
Another sob escapes me as I nod rapidly, his deep chuckle filling my ears. He sits back, spreading his legs out in front of him, just watching me with a soft smile as I continue to be an emotional wreck.
“I’m glad you find this funny,” I say through hitched breaths. “When were you going to tell me?”
“Hmm, maybe never.” He grins. “I liked the idea that you had all my inner thoughts at your fingertips. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure you kept them until you mentioned them while packing.”
“Well, I did.” I wipe my eyes.
“I see that.” He looks at the scattered letters around us.
I can’t stand the inches separating us any longer, so I fold myself into his lap, wrapping my arm around his waist and resting my head on his good shoulder. The steady beat of his heart beneath my palm slowly calms my frantic one.
He gently pushes my hair out of my face and presses a soft kiss to my temple.
“I have something to tell you. It might help stop the waterworks,” he jokes. “Or maybe it’ll start them up again, I’m not sure.”
I pull back to meet his eyes. “I think I’m all cried out. Let’s hear it.”
“The Saints sent an offer. We can stay here, in Chicago.”
“Is it better than the one from New Jersey?”
“Salary wise, no. Contract length, yes.”
“So, what’re we going to do?”
Although I’ve fallen in love with Chicago all over again, I’ve fallen so much harder for Ryan. I’m confident I can be successful with my rescue anywhere, and I understand the reality of dating a hockey player. We’re at the mercy of the teams that want Ryan on their roster. If he thinks a move is better for his career, I’ll be right there with him. No question.
“We?” He raises a brow.
I reach up and cup his face in my hands, giving him a reassuring smile. “I already told you, where you go, I go.”
He pulls me in for a deep kiss, only retreating to speak softly against my lips. “I want us to make decisions together. I never want you to feel like you’re being dragged along, like you did with him. What you need is just as important as what I need. And I want to stay in Chicago, if you do, too? This is where you started your rescue, where we adopted Fred, where we made new friends, where we fell in love.”
Love.
The word reminds me of the little project I finished before Ryan got back. I shift off his lap and sort through the papers scattered around us until I find the deformed paper plane I made. I place it in his hand.
“What’s this?” His voice is hesitant.
“Open it.”
He carefully unfolds the paper, and as his eyes scan over the three words, I finally say them aloud. “I love you.”
Now he’s the one with slightly glassy eyes, and I can’t help but tease, “Now look who’s crying.”
