Page 74 of Stick With Me
“Why were you so quick to shut him down at lunch?” she asks like a therapist who already knows the answer but wants you to figure it out yourself.
“For the record, I’m not freaking out,” I lie.
If a nod could be condescending, that’s the one she gives me. But she doesn’t say anything; just crosses her arms and waits me out.
“We started this whole fake dating thing to piss Jace off, right? But it’s like we opened Pandora’s box, and instead of chaos and misery, it’s unleashed… feelings. Very, very real feelings.”
Nat shivers dramatically. “Oh no, feelings,” she mocks, drawing out the words as if telling a ghost story.
“You’re one to talk,” I huff, tapping her foot crossed in my direction. “It’s just, I came here with a plan and feelings weren’t a part of it, but at the same time I can’t walk away from this thing Ryan and I have.”
“Haven’t you heard? The best things in life are often unplanned.” She smirks. “I know you wanted to focus on yourself and your career, but not every man—especially not Ryan—is going to be like Jace. Did you ever consider you could have both? Your independenceanda healthy, equally supportive relationship?”
I’ve thought about it—a life with both love and the career I’m passionate about. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted but always thought was out of reach. I know it’s possible, in theory. But I’ve never seen an example of it.
My mother’s life revolved around my father’s career, finding her fulfillment in supporting him and raising me. My whole life, she’s encouraged me to do the same: find a good man, settle down, and have a family. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that path; it just didn’t work for me. I built my life around Jace, only to be left feeling empty and lacking purpose. I’m terrified of finding myself in that same position again.
“Listen, Han. Maybe you don’t see the way the man looks at you, but I’ve witnessed it since freshman orientation. I know falling is scary, hence why I don’t do it. But for you, you have someone who’s gonna catch you, so let freaking go.”
My teeth chatter, and I think it’s more from the rush of adrenaline than the crisp air coming off the ice.
She takes my hands, squeezing them as she meets my eyes. “Don’t think I’m letting you wiggle your way out of talking about the lunch date. What freaked you out?”
I release a long breath, steadying myself to say the words out loud. I hate being that insecure girl, someone who questions her worth. “I’m not like them, Nat.”
“Like who?” Her perfectly arched brows flatten into a straight line.
“Them. The girls Ryan dated before. The ones Jace left me for. The ones who fit into a size two, who are flawlessly fashionable, and both cute and sexy. Who know how to do winged eyeliner.”
Nat’s eyebrows shoot up, clearly caught off guard by the direction of my thoughts. “I got you, babe. I can teach how to do the winged liner. But everything else is utter shite?—”
“Shite?”
“Oh, did I not mention McDreamy was British? The accent, Hannah.” She fans her face dramatically, even though sitting this close to an ice rink hardly requires cooling off. “Don’t distract me. As I was saying, you don’t need to be them. Jace is ashite, and Ryan likes you exactly how you are. I mean, why wouldn’t he? You’re smart. You’re passionate. Kind. You’re literally launching your own non-profit. And, babe, let’s not forget how drop-dead gorgeous you are,” she adds, her soft expression morphing into something mischievous. “Seriously, look at this rack.”
She reaches out to feel me up, but I swat her hand away with a laugh before she makes contact. I pull her into as much of a hug as the seats will allow, the sides of our heads pressing together. “Thanks for the pep talk. I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve missed you.”
Sometimes, you just need your best friend to remind you that you’re a badass. And Natalie will forever be my hype girl when I can’t be my own.
“Me too, girl. Quit holding back, all right? Trust in the power of good things.”
“You and your positivity quotes.” I shake my head, but a smile tugs at my lips.
I tease her about a lot of things, but on this, I think she’s right. I deserve this. I’m worthy… And I do have a great rack.
What’s happening between Ryan and me feels too good to walk away from. Maybe it doesn’t fit neatly into my original plan, but plans change, right? With Ryan, I don’t feel an ounce of the pressure I did with Jace. There’s no weight holding me down or expectations I need to measure up to. Just the opposite, actually. I feel supported and empowered.
This may have started as a silly ruse, but it’s becoming so much more. If what he told me at lunch was true, and I have no reason to doubt him, it’s as real to him as it is to me.
“Look, they’re coming out!” Natalie redirects my attention.
The team emerges from of the tunnel and skates toward the bench, except for the second line, who are starting. Ryan, Dom, and Ilya are all out there as a woman sings the national anthem. My eyes zero in on Ryan, who’s already looking at me with a subtle smile.
“What crawled up his butt?” Natalie comments from beside me.
I follow her line of sight and land on Ilya, who’s scowling at her. I’ve never seen the creases between his brows so deep. Ryan catches on to what I’m looking at and nudges him, saying something that prompts Ilya to redirect his eyes and school his expression.
Since they’re standing across from us, Natalie can’t see the numbers on the jerseys, only the team logo on the front. I gain way too much satisfaction when I lean closer so she can hear me over the noise. “That’s your future husband.”
