Page 39 of Good Girl's Guide to Love
“So—”
“Do—”
Our words come out at the same time, and our moment of awkwardness is followed by laughter.
“Why is this so weird?” I ask.
“Probably because ‘how do we fake date’ isn’t a conversation you have every day?”
He has a point there. I’m also very glad we’re the only ones here. I already don’t know how to act around Linc, so having to have this talk, while not having to deal with people staring, is a blessing.
“I mean, I’ve never had it,” I say as I take a sip of my orange juice.
“I’ll take you one further,” he says. “I’ve never had any kind of relationship talk. Ever.”
Now that does surprise me. “You’ve never been in a relationship?”
He shakes his head. “I wasn’t kidding when I told you that I’m not the forever guy, Ainsley. I have baggage. Scars. A past full of bad decisions that I’m paying for every day. I never wanted a relationship then—I was too selfish and busy burning my life down.”
“And now?”
His eyes turn sad. “And now I don’t want to burden anyone while I work through my demons. Playing for the Fury, this is my last chance at a career. I’m twenty-eight, which is middle-aged in football years. If I can put together a season to remember, then maybe I bought myself a few more. But if I can’t get out of my own way—which is the story of my life, mind you—I’m done. And there’s no backup plan. So I told myself no distractions this year.”
Well, now I feel bad. Did I really force this on him? I’m not forceful. Am I?
“And then I came along…”
He smiles through the pain and reaches over the table, grabbing my hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “That’s not what I meant. I’m glad we’re doing this. The moreI think about it, the more it makes sense. All I’m saying is that there’s never been a time in my life when I’ve thought about being a boyfriend, fake or otherwise, so to say I’m out of my depth is an understatement.”
That makes sense, even though it hurts my heart to know that he went through a past that he still feels like he’s atoning for. I want to ask him about it, but I know this isn’t the time or the place.
“Well, then, we’re really up a creek,” I say. “Because if you think I know what to do, you’re sadly mistaken. My only adult relationship experience is with Jonathan, and you see what a gem he is. And I’m not the best at making decisions.”
“Really? You seemed just fine today deciding that we were going to do this.”
“I think you were right. I was still drunk. Because that’s not me.” My joke coaxes a smile out of him. “But what about you? Weren’t you the one last night who swooped in and played the hero? Declaring yourself as my boyfriend? That seemed pretty decision-y.”
He gives me an almost shy shrug. Which is adorable, because I didn’t think there was anything shy about Linc. Though I’m seeing a different side of him this morning than I did last night. “That was a split-second decision, and believe me, those usually don’t pan out for me. Actually, that might be the first time in my life an impulsive decision didn’t end up with me in a fight or in jail.”
I can’t hid my surprise. “Jail? You’ve been to jail?”
“A few times,” he says. “Minor arrests. Nothing with extended sentences.”
“Still,” I say. “I’ve never even gotten a speeding ticket.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” he says. “Okay, so this is the blind leading the blind?”
“Pretty much.”
Linc puts down his fork—after taking the biggest bite I’ve ever seen—before resting his elbows on the table. “Okay, let’s start easy. How is this going to work?”
“That’s the easy question?”
“Maybe easy wasn’t the best word. More like necessary.”
“True,” I say. “How about we lay out what we absolutely need to get out of this. And then we can figure out what we need to do to make those things happen?”
“Look at you, taking charge,” Linc says with a wink. “I like it.”
