Page 30 of Role Model
“Do you think any paps will follow you today?” Ana asks and she sounds hopeful. If she knew what it actually felt like, to be photographed without your consent, she wouldn’t relish the idea of them trailing us.
“Don’t think so,” I say.
113“Huh,” she says, with a puff of dismay. “Shame.”
“We’re going with a fixed colour palette,” Jaya tells me, completely business-like. She’s the most interested in fashion out of the three of them. “I’m pale pink, Sable is light lemon, Ana is baby blue.”
“What will I be?” I ask, slightly deflated to hear that baby blue has been claimed.
“You’ll be soft lavender.”
I thought lavender was a smell. Jaya is holding out a frilly, over-complicated dress that I would have called light purple in the past. Now I suppose it’s lavender.
We’re in the changing rooms, getting dressed one at a time because Jaya says we need the approval of the whole group. Sable comes out, brandishing her yellow dress at Ana.
“Go and get me one a size up,” she barks.
Ana frowns but obeys without comment. Sable and Jaya watch her go, and I watch them.
“Okay, don’t tell her I said this,” Sable says in an almost inaudible voice, “but she’s been really annoying lately.”
Jaya sighs and I wonder, for the briefest of moments, if she’s going to tell Sable to be quiet. But something seems to be at war in her. She eventually sniffs and nods.
“Yeah, she’s being weird. But don’t tell her I said that, either.”
114I’m staggered at not being the ‘weird’ one for once and, when they both turn to look at me, I realise that I’m being invited into this little ritual.
I can’t bring myself to say something mean, not after Ana braided my hair and was nice to me at her house.
“Her mum is a lot,” I say, as it’s not untrue. “She’s maybe just stressed because of that.”
“Yeah,” Jaya says swiftly but Sable looks less than impressed.
“Are you still coming to mine on Friday?” she asks me bluntly.
I blink. “I didn’t think I was invited.”
Sable rolls her eyes. “Of course you are.”
“Will there be lots of people?” I hate when I have to ask, because I’m worried it might trigger a meltdown, but I need to know.
“No,” Sable says. “It’s a small get-together. Really classy. Nibbles and chat. No gatecrashers allowed.”
I feel an internal sigh of relief. “Well, cool. Then yeah. I can come.”
Ana returns with the dress Sable asked for and eyes the three of us with anxious suspicion.
“What are we talking about?” she says and I suddenly see the same anxiety I’ve been feeling about the group now reflected in her face. She’s terrified of115being left out or whispered about. I wonder if this is just a natural part of friendship. Perhaps we all have to take turns in being the one everyone else shuns for a while.
Sable looks her up and down and then quietly says, “Nothing.”
*
I have to tell some white lies to Mum and Dad in order to go to the party. If lying to them before Mum was elected Prime Minister was hard, afterwards is a whole other matter. I tell them that we’re on a group project together and it’s about elephants. Mostly because elephants are my biggest special interest, so I can answer any and all questions about them at a moment’s notice, should they desire to test me on my academic knowledge. I tell them that ever since the library has become a meeting place for lots of school clubs and societies, it is too overstimulating for me. Which is why we have to study together at Sable’s house.
Conversations are had about safety and Dad calls Sable’s mother to clarify some things, which is so embarrassing that I almost end up having a meltdown116so I lock myself in the bathroom to calm down. Upon emerging, Dad tells me I can go.
It feels like a miracle, but I’m also acutely aware that most of the other students in my school don’t have to go through all of this rigmarole just to go to their friend’s house.
