Page 60 of Unconventionally, Elle
"Stop, Louie, stop. It's just Uncle Finn," I pleaded with the Frenchie, who kept barking.
The knocking didn't stop. It was panicked and fast.
"I'm coming, Finn, I'm coming!" I yelled out. Overwhelmed by all the noise, I grabbed Louie and unlocked the door.
Barrett was standing there. He was leaning against the doorframe, eyes sunken and skin pale. His jacket was covered in fresh snow, and small flakes sprinkled his hair.
"Oh my God, Barrett, you're back?" He looked up sheepishly. "Why didn't you text me you were on your way? I was so worried!" My heart was racing, and I embraced his cold body.
I steered him into the condo and helped him to the bedroom. His eyes were vacant and lifeless. He was present but somewhere else at the same time.
"B, B, how's your dad, your mom?" I asked eagerly as he sat on the edge of the bed and shed his coat.
"I forgot my key. Sorry I knocked like an idiot." He didn't answer my question. "I wanted to get back as fast as possible. It was a shit show back there, and I wasn't needed." He took a deep breath and lay back on his side of the bed. His hands spread over his face and he let out a vicious groan. Then he kept taking deep breaths. "So Finn is coming over?" he asked after a few moments.
"Yeah, I think Jackson too." I moved to lie beside him. I reached my top hand over to grasp his. His fingers welcomed mine and held on like I was the only thing keeping him here.
"They got worried when I called crying, and you and Emma weren't answering. I felt helpless. Actually, I felt scared... for you." I lifted his hand to my lips and kissed the back of it gently.
"I get it," he said, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm scared too."
"Yeah?" I said. "Is he okay, Barrett?" I didn't like his dad at all, but I certainly didn't wish him dead.
Louie, who'd jumped on the bed as soon as his mom and dad were in it, cuddled between us and began to lick Barrett's face.
"Yeah, he's okay. It was a heart attack, but they saved the bastard with an emergency procedure. Angioplasty, I think they called it? They put in a stent too."
"Oh my God, that's crazy." I squeezed Barrett's hand again and whispered, "Is he going to recover?" I stared at him while he continued to take deep breaths and stare at the ceiling.
"He will," Barrett said in a short, brisk tone. I knew their relationship was strained, but he was acting distant, hot and cold. I didn't have to wait long for an answer. "Elle, if he died, I'd be in charge. That's the last thing I want in this fucking world."
His voice changed so quickly, dark and fierce, that I flinched.
"But he's still alive, and of course I don't want him dead, but God, I don't know how to explain it." He sounded frustrated and brought his hands to his face again.
"Try," I coaxed in a soft, hushed voice.
"Elle, I'm not close to my dad, and I would say I love him in a very loose way. Like the fact that he's my father, and that's all. But then knowing he could have died tonight scares the shit out of me. To be in charge of the company terrifies me. It's inevitable, but it feels like this faraway thing, like my dad is immortal. Does that make sense? I don't expect him to retire--I think he's full of shit. I don't want to be in charge, Ellz. I don't want to become my father." With his hands still over his face, his body shuddered with sobs and frustration.
"Barrett, this means you're human. Of course you can care, but you don't have to. The fact that you do means you're an incredible person." I slid closer and put my arm around his tense body. "I love you, Barrett. I know you don't want to take over the company, and you're right, it's terrifying. But I'm here, okay? We can make it through the tough days together." I kissed his cheek and nuzzled my head back into his shoulder.
"Barrett, he's okay," I said after a few minutes.
"Yeah, he is," he said in a choked tone.
We lay there a little longer with Louie snoring soundly between us. I grabbed my phone and texted Finn.
Me:He's home. His dad is okay-ish.
Finn:Thank God. We are almost there. Do you still want/need us?
Me:No, it's okay. Thank you for coming. Thank you for answering. Thank you for being you (+ Jackson). I love you both, but I'm lying here with Barrett right now, and I don't think he's getting out of bed after the night he had.
Finn:Understood. Text me tomorrow, K Ellz? We love you.
I put my phone down on the bed and turned it on Do Not Disturb. I don't know how much time went by, but I fell asleep holding Barrett close in my arms.
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