Page 63 of Unconventionally, Elle
I sat up all the way and crisscrossed my legs. Leaning forward, my head resting on my hands, I looked at Finn, then Jackson.
"I need to get to the hospital." Even though I was devastated, I knew I had to be there for Barrett. I wouldn't bolt on him.
Within the hour, Finn drove me to the hospital. Barrett didn't answer his phone, and when I texted Emma, she told us which entrance she'd be waiting at for me. I called her as soon as we arrived.
She answered after only one ring. "You're here?" There was an urgency in her voice.
"Yeah, what floor, what room?" My mind was racing with the various situations I could be walking into. I looked over to Finn as I got out of his car and mouthed,Thank you, I love you, and made a phone signal to let him know I'd call him later.
"We're in 314. Hurry, it's not good," she said and then hung up. Before the call was disconnected, I heard Barrett's voice. He was in the room.
I found my way there with a nurse's help. Mr. Henry was unconscious. Mrs. Henry was frozen in the corner, sitting in a chair. Barrett stood like a statue, staring at his dad, and Emma was fidgeting with her nails, pacing from one side of the room to the other.
I entered the room cautiously.
"Elle!" Emma ran to me with her arms outstretched.
I instinctively opened mine and embraced her. She started crying, and I looked over her shoulder at Barrett. He'd glancedat me coming in but was staring at his father again. Barrett was talented at compartmentalizing his life, but we all have our breaking point.
"I thought you were coming with Barrett, but he said you weren't," Emma said in a small, delicate voice.
Before I could reply, Barrett's voice carried across the room. "Can I talk to you outside for a moment?" he said in a clipped tone.
I nodded, and Emma let go of me and sat down in a chair by her dad's side. I saw her reach for his hand and begin to sob as Barrett and I walked out of the room.
Once in the hallway and a few doors down from Mr. Henry's room, Barrett released a deep sigh and looked at me with tired eyes. "What are you doing here, Elle?"
"What am I doing here?" I put my hands on my hips and hissed, "I'm here to be supportive. I'm here to be with you."
"Elle, I wanted you to stay with Finn. I don't want you to be here if this goes bad." He leaned against the wall and brushed his hand down his face. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent in the fluorescent lighting. "He might die." His choked tone had my body reacting before I could think.
I dropped my hands from my hips, stepped closer, and wrapped my arms around his tense, shaking body. "Barrett, I know. Do you think I don't know that? Do you think I don't know what death is? Let me remind you, I'm very familiar with it." I stepped back and took both of his hands in mine. "I'm not leaving, I'll be here. Whether it's in that room or the waiting area, I'm here." I brought his hands to my lips and gently kissed his knuckles. "I won't let you do this alone."
Tears were streaming silently down his face. I could tell he was breaking. "He doesn't have much of a chance. I don't want Mom and Emma to hear, but I talked to the doctors. They can'tdo a bypass; he's too high risk. I think the stress, the work, the never stopping, it got him."
I leaned in again and held him firmly against my body.
"I'm scared," he murmured into my hair. "I'm so fucking scared."
I fell asleep in the waiting room. Around three a.m. I felt a gentle shake. It was Emma.
"Hey, Elle. Wake up." Her eyes were puffy, and her mascara was running down her cheeks. A sense of dread crept through my body. I knew before she even told me.
"Barrett's in there talking to the doctors and Mom, but Dad didn't... he..." She kept choking on her words.
I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry into my shoulder. Her whole body convulsed with each new wave of tears.
"He's gone, Elle, he's gone." I could hardly make out the muffled words, but they were there.
I mindlessly rubbed her back while she held me tight. I caught Barrett's eye as he walked toward his sister and me.
"He's dead." I felt Emma flinch in my arms as Barrett echoed the words the doctors had confirmed only moments before. The Barrett I loved wasn't standing in front of me. Instead, I was looking at a vacant, lost human who'd just inherited the weight of a Fortune 500 company and the role of "man of the family."
Emma peeled herself away from me and turned to Barrett. She clung to him, and in that moment, he came back to us. He squeezed his sister and held her tight to his chest. She fell apart again, and he let her.
I couldn't ask if he was okay; I knew he wasn't. "How's your mom?" I asked cautiously.
He looked at me and with a bittersweet pull of his lips murmured, "She's making arrangements."
