Page 154 of Sweet Hate
We are thrilled to offer you the role of head pâtissier overseeing both our hotel and our sister hotel in Paris. Your role will encompass the overseeing and running of your own kitchens and staff for both locations. You will need to…
Falling back onto my ass, I stare down at the letter, the words blurring into one black blob while alarms blare in my brain.
She's going to leave me.
Again.
There’s no way she won’t.
And again, I won’t let her say no because of me.
This is big. Huge.
I love her.
I love her enough to let her go, but I know I won’t recover a second time.
Black spots circle my vision. My pulse erratic to the point my heart might stop entirely.
Bracing my head in my shaking hands, I try to focus on breathing in and out to calm my racing thoughts before the spike in my heart rate brings on a heart attack.
She's leaving meis on a loop inside my head.
The sound of my bed creaking breaks through the fog, and I quickly shove the letter back into her purse and go stand in the kitchen, bracing my arms on the counter to quell the shaking I still haven’t gotten under control.
I can’t breathe. My world’s about to end, and I can’t even fucking talk to her about it.
I needed to leave for work five minutes ago.
“There you are.” I can hear the smile in her voice as her hands come and circle me from behind, her perfect hourglass curves pressed against me.
The warmth of her body is like a knife to the heart, giving me a glimpse of heaven when I know I’m about to slide right back down to hell.
We need to talk. We need to figure this all out like adults. But I can’t do anything with these sirens blaring in my head.
I need to think. I don’t have a plan for this.
“Hey, babe, are you OK? You’re so tense.”
She tries to turn me to face her, but I can’t look at her. She’ll see it written across my face.
I need to go. I need to get out of here.
“I’m late for work, Haven. I need to go. We need to talk, but it’ll have to wait till tonight.”
“Axel, what’s wrong?” I’m not looking at her face, but I can hear the worry in her tone. I’m a jerk. I hate that I’m not mature enough to suck it up like a man right now. I thought I was better than the eighteen-year-old kid she left, but apparently, I'm really not.
“Tonight, Haven. We can talk tonight. Have a good day.”
With that, I walk out of my apartment without so much as kissing her goodbye, leaving my shattered useless heart behind at her feet.
52
AXEL
“Fire department, call out.”
Thick, dark smoke billows out above us as Max and I conduct a primary search. Crouching down to retain some visibility, we call out over and over.
