Page 156 of Sweet Hate
Haven’s face flashes before my eyes. Her smile and joy from just yesterday. My elation atfinallygetting to hold her in my arms all night, that beautiful pink hair splayed across my chest as she slept.
I lay awake for hours, just staring at her, trying to burn that moment to memory. How the hell was that only hours ago?
As if I knew it would be my only chance.
No.
I can’t die.
I haven’t told her I love her. I need to say the words before I go.
Pain rips through my heart.
I can’t breathe and it has nothing to do with the smoke or my injuries.
The lead weight crushing my chest has everything to do with this morning.
Everything I left unsaid.
I didn’t even kiss her goodbye. Instead I withheld it as some sort of punishment.
I force myself onto my hands and knees, pain searing through my chest as I fight to stay on all fours.
“Lieutenant, what’s your status?”
“Stairs collapsed, Cap—” I swallow, trying to get the words out past the burning in my throat.
“I’m hurt but mobile. Keep everyone out.”
Is that my voice? Shit, it’s so weak, it sounds more like a death rattle.
Fighting for every breath, I shove away the pain searing through my bones and focus.
I hear Cap’s muttered curse through the radio and Max arguing to come back in.
No Max.
“Stay out. That’s an order.”
Curt words, but my oxygen is starting to run low.
But I think of my girl again.
If things go sideways, and it sure as shit looks like they might, I can’t leave things unsaid—truths I was too chickenshit to bring up. My heart shatters at the thought.
Goddamn, if I could do things differently, I’d open my stupid mouth. Talk things through. Kneel at her feet and beg to go with her. I’ll go anywhere she wants to go so long as we’re together. I hate that it’s taken this bullshit to show me that, and now I might not get the chance.
She needs to know. I can’t let this morning’s words be the final ones I say to her. I just…I can't.
Breathing ragged now, my lungs rattle, burning with mounting pain, but I have to get the words out.
“Cap—” A cough rattles out of me, attempting to silence the most important message I’ll ever need to deliver.
“If things go south…te—Tell Haven I love her.” Emotion chokes me, and my voice cracks. Heartbreak burning as badly as the fire coursing through my lungs.
He mutters a curse down the radio.
“Son—No. Get the fuck out here and tell her yourself.”
