Page 114 of Catching Kyle
And then I hang up.
Amani tries to call me again, but I decline it. She texts, but I just delete the messages. Then, the sun finally setting, I burrow myself under my covers and shut the world out.
Chapter 37
Kyle Weaver
Thepastmonthhasbeen a dizzy blur.
The day after I came home from Glamour Springs, Timmy demanded a meeting to discuss damage control.
He put me with Robyn and demanded we spin up some story that makes me look good and Amani look bad. The only story that he approved of was that Amani cheated on me, so I had to find someone else.
This someone else ended up being Jessica. Timmy and some of the Tigers’ management hired an agency to get me a girlfriend. I met her the next day. She was slim, beautiful, blonde, and had a radiant smile. I liked her, but I couldn’t love her. Because no matter what I did, I couldn’t stop thinking of the man I truly loved. But that didn’t matter anymore. I had to let him go.
Since then, it’s been appearance after appearance, Timmy trying to convince the public that this relationship transition isn’t abrupt or strange or unnatural but completely reasonable. And though our plastered smiles might make the world think so, I know deep down that this is not the true me. At the very least, I’m not hiding a taboo relationship anymore. Daddy would be proud of that.
I come in through the garage, and Jessica shuts the door behind me. We were just at some gala for a cancer charity I donate to, and per Timmy’s instructions, we made sure to get in a lot of pictures. I throw my suit coat down and pull out my shirt from my tight pants, my head dark and stormy. Since Thanksgiving, I’vebeen eating more than usual. I chalk it up to the weather, but I know my mood’s been worse than ever. I may need to see Neeti again. Talk about depression.
“Sooo…” Jessica says, taking off her jacket. She’s wearing this tight red dress that brings out her perfect blonde hair. She’s an objectively attractive woman. I just wish she wasn’t mine.
I start unbuttoning my cuffs. “What’s on your mind?”
“Have you thought about Christmas at all?”
I sigh as I unbutton one wrist, letting blood flow back into my hand. Man, I need to get my shirts refitted.
“It’s in a week,” I say, unbuttoning my other wrist. I roll both my sleeves up. “So no.”
She frowns and sucks on her lip. “Well, I’d like for you to come to Pittsburgh and meet my family.” She closes the distance between us, and I feel my breath quicken. But not in a good way.
She traces the crease of my forearm with her finger. “And maybe the Sexiest Man Alive can teach me a thing or two in bed.”
It takes all my strength not to buck away from her. That darkness that swarms my brain whenever I have to get intimate with a woman returns, and it feels like I’ll never be happy again.
“I’m tired tonight,” I say.
She sighs and pulls her hand away. “You’re always tired.”
I turn to her and put my hands on her shoulder. “How about this,” I say. “I come home with you to Pittsburgh this Christmas, and that’s when you can unwrap me. I just need some time is all.”
She brightens. “I can do that,” she says. “I don’t mean to push you either. I know you had a rough relationship with Amani.”
I let out a sharp laugh. “I guess you could say that.”
* * *
Unlike how I failed Michael, I manage to keep my promise to Jessica. Well, so far.
We sit around a large, mahogany table. Her parents sit at either end, and the table is filled her brothers and their wives. Christmas music is playing in thebackground, and it’s snowing in Pittsburgh. Little kids are running around, too excited to sleep but too eager to wait until Christmas morning.
I’m peppered with questions about the season, fellow players, and so on. Her brothers are good men, and their wives are well-rounded. Her parents are charming and thoughtful, and Jessica is an attentive partner.
But it’s all still wrong.
This is nothing like Thanksgiving with Michael and my folks. I loved watching Michael get into heated debates with Silas about the best piece of LGBTQ+ fiction. I loved the way my ma doted on Michael, the way that she saw him how I did. How I felt so free, being completely myself around the people I loved.
I can’t do that here.
