Page 44 of Catching Kyle
“I—of course I want this,” I say, shaking my head. I push myself slightly farther away so I’m not tempted to let him put his arm around me again.
“Jesus, you know I’ve thought the same about you?” I ask. “For years, I’ve jerked off to whatever pictures or videos of you I can get. You’re fucking sculpted by the gods, Kyle.”
Though he just wept his eyes out, he manages a smile. “No wonder you lost it when I took my shirt off.”
I laugh, wiping away my sympathy tears. “No shit,” I say.
Then he frowns. “But why not?”
I slump back. “You just came out, Kyle. This is a sacred moment for you, and you have no idea how vulnerable you are. I’m not going to take advantage of you. God, I shouldn’t have even kissed you.”
Kyle falls back into the couch, slightly annoyed. “So what now then? I come out but then I’m not able to celebrate it?”
I want to get closer to him and rub his arm to comfort him, but that would just encourage what I’m trying to avoid.
“Of course you can celebrate it,” I say. “But it’s not healthy to just jump into having sex. You’re fragile right now. I won’t do that to you.”
Kyle lets out a sharp laugh, as if someone like him could be fragile. He runs his tongue around the inside of his mouth, then sighs. “I see. You’re a bigger person than me for holding yourself back.”
I shrug. “It’s what I’d want for myself.”
For a moment, we sit in silence. And then he turns his head slightly to me. And God, from this angle, his handsome profile makes me almost want to go back on what I said. Almost.
“I’ll tell you what,” he says. “You give me a week to process this. And then I want you to come back at your normal time.”
I relax into the couch. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “Positive.”
Butterflies of excitement flutter around my stomach. I just kissed Kyle Weaver. And he’s gay! He said so himself. But I need to give him the space he deserves. He probably has so many thoughts overwhelming him.
I have to admit I’m more than thrilled that he wants me back over next week. But he could change his mind. Lord knows how many times I’ve scheduled a date or hookup with some guy, only for him to cancel last minute or completely stand me up. That’s how all these emotionally unavailable guys have been. But something about Kyle tells me he’ll be different. He’s always kept his word, and with how honest he just was, I can’t help but think he’ll be true to it.
Ah, who am I kidding. I shouldn’t keep my hopes up.
“I better be going then,” I say before either of us are tempted to go back on our forbearance. I pick up my leftover food, then pause. “You can have the rest of mine.”
Kyle does a gesture of supplication, showing off his thick arms. “Thank you,” he says.
I nod, then collect the rest of my things. I plop my own copy of the Cat Sebastian of my book, briefly marveling that one book had such an effect on Kyle. And then I make my way to the door.
“Oh, and I have one request,” Kyle says.
I stop and turn, sliding on his perfectly polished floors. “Yes?”
He stares at me, the swelling around his eyes having reduced a little. Though disheveled, he looks free, like a weight is off his shoulders. Happier.
“Please don’t post anymore content,” he says.
I squint at him for a second, and then recognition quickly dawns on me.
“If you need the money, just ask, I just—” He leans his elbow on his knee and trills his lips. “The thought of you with someone else right now—”
“I think I can go a week without posting,” I say, unable to hide my grin. Kyle Weaver.Jealous.
He nods dramatically, biting his lip. “Thank you.”
And then, with his desire for me as intense as it could be, I leave, knowing that next week my greatest fantasy might come true.
