Page 55 of Catching Kyle
“Oh my god,” I say, setting down the other half of my piece of burger. “That’s the juiciest burger I’ve ever tasted.”
Kyle’s silently chewing.
“Is it bad?” I ask.
He looks up at me, deadpan. “The only thing better is your idea.”
I blush. “Oh shut up.”
And he just smiles.
As we continue eating our own food this time, I realize that we haven’t talked about Kyle at all.
“Let’s talk about the elephant in the room,” I say.
He looks up at me, almost worried.
“I mean that you’re one of the top players out there,” I say. “What’s that like?”
He takes a big gulp of his water. “It’s like any other celebrity gig,” he says. “Except I get to play the sport I love.”
“It hasn’t gotten old?”
He furrows his brow and shakes his head. “Football never gets old. I love the rush, the strategy, the skill and endurance required. The camaraderie, how it brings everyone in the nation together. It’s awesome.” Then his face darkens, and he sighs. “But I might never play again.”
I set down my fork and look at him. “What do you mean? Is this your last season or something? From what I know about football, you’re like essential to the Tigers. And you’re one of the best players the NFO has seen.”
He laughs. “You would think so with how many touchdowns I’ve scored.”
“Then what’s the problem? If you want to play, what’s stopping you?”
He sighs. “People are… talking. Don’t know if you saw my press interview before the Championship Game.”
I shake my head.
“Bless your heart,” he says. “But let’s just say that after that, people started to wonder which team I play for, if you catch my drift.”
I don’t. “You mean the Tigers?”
He blows a raspberry. “No. They’re wondering if I’m gay.”
My stomach sinks. He meantthatteam. Besides his therapist, I think I’m the only one who knows he’s gay.
“My team’s management says that if I don’t find a girlfriend, I won’t be able to play with them next year. And they’re my only real shot at winning the Championship Game.” He throws his napkin on the table and wipes his face with his hands. When he lowers them, his face looks haggard and worn, as if he’s aged a year in this admission alone. “That’s why I wanted to go to the book club in the first place. It was the plan I came up with my agent—to find a girl there.” He chuckles to himself. “But with your help I got out of that.”
My chest tightens. His plan is to find a girl—our weekly little one-on-one book club was his way out of this. But Kyleisgay, right? He admitted it to me. Or is he going back in the closet to preserve his career? If he’s going back in the closet, then isn’t this date a phenomenal mistake? Dread pools in my chest as the realization sinks in. I promised myself no emotionally unavailable men. But I may be sitting across from the most unavailable person in the country.
“So what are you going to do?” I ask. “I mean, me helping you dodge book club can only last so long.”
He looks up at me, his shoulders sunken in defeat. “I don’t know.”
I don’t know.Not ‘I’m gonna find a girlfriend’, but not ‘I’m gonna come out’ either. I sigh to myself. I was a fool to think any of this could go anywhere.
Before either of us can say anything else, Charles returns with our check. “Is there anything else I can get for you?”
Kyle looks at me, but I just look away. Kyle shakes his head.
“You ready to get going?” he asks once he’s paid.
