Page 64 of Catching Kyle
“Yeah, I get it,” I say. “Like I said, we don’t have to.”
He tightens his grip around my thigh. I glance up at him, and his face has hardened. “I told you I want to do this.”
I roll over, laying half my body on him. I kiss his nipple, then rest my head on his pec. “Then tell me what’s holding you back.”
He’s silent.
“Is it that it’s ‘too gay’ and doing it is like the last step to admitting it to yourself?”
His chest shakes with a short laugh. “I know I’m gay, Michael.”
I gently nod, joy suffusing my body in the form of butterflies. I give his pec a gentle kiss. At the very least, he’s not in denial. Which gives us a solid chance.
“You said earlier that you trusted me,” he says. “Letting you inside me that way means that I would trust you.”
My heart feels like it’s coiling up in my chest. “Do you think you can’t trust me?”
He looks me in the eye and strokes my drying hair. I practically rub into his touch like a cat being pet.
“I think I can,” he says. “But I want to make sure.”
My chest still coiled up, I hold my breath for his answer.
“I know my situation sucks,” he says. “But if we’re going to do this. Not just have sex but date. Get to know each other. Have a partnership. I want to give us—you—the chance we deserve. I don’t know what I’m doing yet—if I’m coming out or sticking with football—but I won’t give up on you just when itgets hard. I’ll be with you until I absolutely cannot be, if we have to split at all.” He sighs. “I need the same commitment from you.”
I put my hand around him, pulling us closer together. He puts his hand on my shoulder, pulling lightly on some of the hairs there.
I can’t deny it anymore. Kyle wants to be in a relationship. And he’s going to try. To demand an answer about our future from him now would be unfair. And with how much I like him, it would be unfair to myself to say ‘no’ to this. I promised myself I wouldn’t date emotionally unavailable men, but Kyle is being the most available he can possibly be. And that’s enough.
I prop myself up higher so our faces are level, and my hand traces up his stomach, past his chest to cheek. I rub my thumb through his beard. I close the distance and plant a gentle kiss on his lips. And he physically shivers.
“As a pornstar I worried you’d be all physical,” he says. “But you can make my whole body electric with just a kiss. That’s magic.”
“There’s more to love than sex,” I say, enjoying the smoothness of his beard.
He places the back of his hand on my chest and strokes my nipple with his knuckles, which feels almost as good as it is intimate.
“And there’s more to this,” he says, gesturing between us. “Than love. Meaning even with love we might not work out. But if it does, we’ll need to be committed to each other. Supportive. Understanding. Monogamous—old-fashioned, I know.”
I smile. “It’s what I prefer, too,” I say. “I can give up OnlyFans for you.”
He kisses my forehead. “Thank you,” he says earnestly. “The thought of you with someone else feels like someone is pouring lava on my chest.”
“Ouch,” I say, kissing his cheek. “I don’t want that.”
He sighs contentedly. “So what do you say?”
I trace my hand down his belly, twirling a patch of long hair around my finger.
Every relationship has risks. Any relationship can go south. I mean, look at me and David. I thought he was my soulmate, and he nearly tore me to pieces.
The risk in this relationship with Kyle is no different. He may decide to continue on with his football career. Or he may decide to stay with me. It’sfifty-fifty, at the end of the day. Those aren’t the best odds, but Kyle Weaver is so much more than a hot guy or nice philanthropist. He’s a sweet, thoughtful man who loves to read and is willing to love what I read. He’s willing to have hard conversations, and he’s willing to treat me far better than any other guy I’ve ever dated. And he’s got a killer dick.
“Let’s do it,” I say.
Kyle turns and reaches his arm over me. I fall into the bed, and before I know it, he has his entire weight on me, his lips pressed against mine. And I’m in heaven.
He slowly stops, then rolls over onto my side, his arms still wrapped around me. Like a giant teddy bear.
