Page 22 of Broken Mafia Bride
“Forgive me.I have done terrible things since I lost her. I can’t stop. I keep killing.”
My heart slams so hard it feels like it might crack a rib. The confession slices down my spine like a blade.
For a moment, my mind blanks completely. I’m frozen—too terrified to breathe, too transfixed to look away from the thin screen of wood separating us.
My skin prickles with cold sweat. My stomach heaves, bile rising at the back of my throat. But underneath the horror, there’s something worse: a strange, shivering recognition.
His voice.
God help me, there’s something in it that tugs at something buried deep inside me. A low rasp I almost—almost—remember.
I swallow, trying to steady my breathing. I need to run. Every cell in my body is screaming to get up and flee. But I can’t. My legs are locked. My palms are slick where they clutch my belly, as if I can shield the baby from the monstrous truth seeping through that lattice.
I hear the man suck in a shaky breath. “I have done terrible things since I lost her.”
Lost who? Curiosity keeps me pinned in place, and I try to even out my breaths, staying as still as humanly possible. There’s something about the voice, something I can’t put my finger on.
There’s no way I can let myself be discovered now. The man will never let me live after I’ve heard about the evil things he’s done.
“I told myself it was for her,” he continues. “To avenge her, to quiet the rage inside me. But the rage never fades. The pain never lessens. Nothing can numb the hell I carry.”
Something cleaves straight through my heart at the raw anguish in his voice. I blink, stunned by the depth of my sympathy for a man who has just admitted to being a mass murderer. I should be repulsed, appalled—anything but seized by this fierce, inexplicable need to reach across the booth, to wrap my hands around his and offer him the solace he so achingly craves.
What is wrong with me? It must be some hormonal confusion or something like that.
“Is this God’s punishment?” the man bites out bitterly. “Is he punishing me for my past? For not acting fast enough? I don’t care what he does to me, I don’t care if he makes me go the rest of my life bleeding out from a wound only I can see. I’ll bear it all if it means she’ll be—” His voice cracks.
I press a shaky palm to the wooden wall between us.
“I love her. I love her more than life itself, and I miss her a little more every day. Existing is unbearable without her,” he croaks. “How can I, in full consciousness, move on when I know that I have nothing to give someone else? Not my heart, not my affection, not even the wrecked pieces of what’s left of my soul. But this war has to end, and this is the only way.”
I want to childishly cover my ears so that I won’t hear any more of this, and at the same time, I want to know more. I want to understand this man who drips with both the blood of his victims and his own.
“If there is no body…” He trails off, a breath sawing out of him. “If there’s no body, no proof that she’s dead, then maybe, just maybe…” He goes quiet after that.
I only realize I’m crying when it drops down my face onto the back of my hand. I glance down at the wet spot on my skin, feeling wrecked even though I know nothing about this woman he’s lost. What would it feel like to be loved in that way?
Tears continue to streak down my face long after the man is gone, taking with him the smell of his cologne and all the warmth from the chapel.
Eventually, I wipe my face and leave the building. After checking that those men have left the area, I continue on my way to the bar. I make sure I’m composed before I step into Dusty’s.
“Hey, we thought you got lost or something,” Sienna says as soon as she notices me. “I had to stop Marco here from calling you a million times.”
“I wasn’t going to call a million times,” he grumbles.
She raises a brow at him. “I had to confiscate your phone. You were going to call the station and report her missing.”
I force a smile on my face. “I took the Doc’s advice and decided to get my steps in. I just took the long way around. I’m sorry for worrying you.” I can only imagine what would have happened if Sienna hadn’t managed to stop Marco from calling, and my phone had gone off while the man was still in the booth.
I shiver, not even wanting to think about it.
Even though the man is capable of love, he also confessed to murdering people, and I refuse to be one of the people who romanticize bad people just because they are capable of emotions.
“I’m just so glad we finally have some info to go on.” The redhead’s face splits with a smile. “Even if the state investigator can’t give us the full story of where you came from, at least we can have some pointers to work with.”
I nod. “Yeah. It has to be better than all the dead ends we’ve encountered trying on our own.” We’ve also had to be very careful when trying to find my family because we didn’t want to tip off anybody who’s after me.
Speaking of people after me, I open my mouth to tell them about the men at the chapel, but change my mind. I don’t want to make them worried over something that might just turn out to be nothing.
