Page 57 of Broken Mafia Bride
I need to torture myself with the guilt because I can’t stand the thought of my daughter suffering alone.
The door creaks open, and I open my eyes to see a figure approaching me. I’m not sure what time it is, or how long ago I heard my phone ringing. The blackout curtains are permanently drawn in my room, and the days have all started to blur together.
“How can you live like this?” Caterina grumbles. “I have pets scattered everywhere in my house, and it doesn’t even look half as bad as this.”
“Go away,” I start to cover my head with the blanket, but she snatches away.
“You’ve had three days of living like a sewer rat,” she says, walking over to the window and yanking the curtains open. Harsh sunlight floods the room, and I wince as it hits my eyes like a slap.
“Get up,” she orders, planting her hands on her hips. “Take a shower while I get the maid to attempt cleaning this mess.Attemptbeing the key word.”
“Fuck off, Cat.”
“Uh-huh.” She nods. “Nice try. Unfortunately, I refuse to fuck off. You can either get off that bed, take a shower, and join us downstairs for lunch, or I can bring the table in here, and we’ll all eat in the middle of your bedroom. Your choice.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I dare you to try me, Giulia.”
“I just want to be left alone,” I snarl. “Is that too much to ask? Why can’t you all just leave me alone to be miserable in peace? My daughter’s gone, and yet I’m supposed to pretend like everything’s okay. Wear a smile and act like my whole life hasn’t been ripped from its roots and left to rot.”
One of her dark eyebrows arches. “I like a good pity party as much as the next person, but this is just sad, Giulia.”
“Then don’t come in here if it bothers you so much,” I snap, anger surging through me.
She laughs, then grips one edge of the blanket and rips it off me. “You’re joining us for lunch, then you can go back to playing bed rot.”
“Just leave me alone! Why can’t you all just leave me alone?” Just then my phone begins to ring again. It’s all too much, like amillion hands are pulling at me in different directions. The first sob rips out of my throat, like a wounded animal.
Caterina is there immediately, her hand clutching mine firmly. She stays silent as I bow my head and weep, shoulders trembling with the force of my emotions. It doesn’t just hurt in my chest; the pain of loss vibrates through me, settling over every inch of me. Even my bones feel brittle with misery.
“She’s gone, Cat. She’s gone, and I don’t know what to do.” My voice cracks into a whimper. “Th-that’s the worst part—the helplessness. Shouldn’t I be out there, scouring the earth to bring her home? But instead, here I am… withering, broken, and too scared to face any of it.”
“You’ll find her.”
“When?” I cry. “It’s been weeks—weeks that my baby girl has spent with sick strangers who—” I choke on the words, bile rising in my throat. “I’ll ruin your lunch with my misery.”
“Okay, then,” she snaps back without missing a beat. “Let it be ruined. Let your grief suffocate every corner of Casa Bianca. Why do you feel like you have to be polite in your pain? Who said you shouldn’t burden people with it? Noemi is part of all of us—in one way or another. Everyone in this house is grieving in their own way, Giulia. You’re not alone in this, even if it feels like it.”
Her hand brushes my greasy hair away from my face. “Your job right now should be keeping yourself healthy so when they get your kid back, you’ll be able to take care of her. Do you think you’re currently in a state where you can care for her?”
I think about it, and realize she’s right. Torturing myself isn’t helping Noemi in any way. It’s only been a way to absolve myself. I don’t know what state she will come back in, but I need to be able to take care of her, and the wreck I’ve become isn’t capable of caring for anyone.
“Okay,” I say slowly.
“Shower and get dressed.” She rises to her feet. “You don’t have to be the life of the party, all you have to do is show up and eat. Maria cooked, so you don’t have to be afraid of getting food poisoning.”
A small smile touches my lips for the first time in what feels like forever.
I stumble to my feet and head to the bathroom. I push my exhausted body to wash my hair, take a thorough shower, and brush away the sour taste from my mouth. When I step back into the room, Caterina is in the process of fitting fresh sheets on the bed.
“Get dressed.” She waves me away when I try to help. “I’ve got this.”
By the time I’ve slipped on loose-fitting pants and a halter top, I have to admit that I feel a little better, and my room is in some order. Locking our arms together, Caterina pulls me downstairs just as my grandfather is settling into his seat at the head of the table.
“Giulia, you made it to lunch!” The corners of his eyes crinkle with a smile, and I offer him a small one in return.
Pepe stands up to pull a chair out for me and Caterina. I see their eyes meet as she slides past him to sit, and the amount of emotion in that brief second of eye contact makes me suddenly crave for Raffaele.
