Page 110 of Broken Mafia Prince
“One thing you need to know about Raffaele is that his mind does not work like ours. He’s always five steps ahead, and even though sometimes it feels like he’s going through the long route, you have to believe that he knows what he’s doing.”
I frown. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just going there to collect some information. I don’t plan on telling him anything.”
“Hmm,” she hums. “Oh, well, best of luck. But for god’s sake, don’t be stupid enough to let him lure you into his bed.”
My cheeks heat up at her words. “Of course I won’t,” I deny hotly. But a part of me is laughing, insisting that we both know what will happen as soon as I set my eyes on him.
No, I argue with myself,I’m stronger than that. There is no way I’ll willingly go into his bed after not seeing him for two years.
“I would never do something like that,” I continue.
“Good, because the Raffaele you knew before is long gone. The new him is a chronic heartbreaker, a womanizer. He’s gone through the entire female population of Chicago more than once.”
“W-what?” I stammer.
Her eyes narrow at me. “Did you think that he was just here being celibate and waiting for you? Don’t be crazy.”
The truth is that I never expected him to sit around waiting for me, but hearing the confirmation that he didn’t hurts a bit. Which sounds a lot like hypocrisy, because after all, I’m engaged to be married.
“It’s not a big deal. It’s not like we are reconnecting in that way. This is different.” If I keep telling myself that, maybe I’ll eventually believe it.
She gives me a long look. “How dumb do you think I am? We both know that as soon as you set your eyes on him, you’ll be all over him like a rash. Trust me, I have been the one around Raffaele, and he is no good. He’s bad news.”
“You think I don’t know that?” I fire back.
“Trust me, you haven’t seen him this bad. He drinks too much, and his apartment has become a revolving door of women.”
Does that mean Raffaele has also been deeply hurt and bothered by what went down between us? For some reason, I’ve been assuming that I’m the only one wrecked by what happened between us. I know I’m the one who walked away, but it hasn’t been easy at all. But it was what was best for both of us.
Unfortunately, what’s best is never the easy thing. A lot of the time, I have felt like I made a horrible mistake, and I fight the urge to come running back into his arms.
I cope by immersing myself into any work or hobby I can get my hands on and diving into this new relationship with Alessandro. Maybe being with so many women and getting drunk is his way of pushing through it.
“Not to talk of how dangerous he’s gotten,” my cousin continues.
“Dangerous?” I ask. “What do you mean by dangerous? I don’t know a single made man who’s not dangerous.”
A look of horror crosses her face, and she shudders. “This is different. I hate to bring it up, but you need to know. Raffaeleis far colder-hearted and crueler than Edoardo. He kills people without hesitation and tortures them whenever he feels like it. And I can tell that it gives him real pleasure.”
My stomach twists at her words. Is hurting other people a way of distracting him from the hurt he’s feeling?
“He must be so wrecked,” I say quietly.
“Don’t be delusional,” she scoffs. “Didn’t you hear anything I just said? This isn’t the sign of a man who is hurting. This is who he is when he’s not trying to fool you by acting like the perfect gentleman.”
“I need to see him. I need to talk to him now more than ever, I need to… I don’t know, do something. Maybe fix this.”
“There is no ‘fixing this.’ You’re getting married, for god’s sake. What do you think your husband will say about this when he finds out that you went to talk to your ex-fling?”
I lick my suddenly dry lips. “He wasn’t a fling.”
“Christ Almighty, you’re acting real childish right now. Did you think that a few kisses and sweet nothings make for a relationship? Even if you had stayed, you wouldn’t have had the perfect life with Raffaele. Eventually, you would have found out who he truly is beneath the tailored suits. And you would have been horrified, just as horrified as I am. I’m telling you this for your own good.”
I know she cares about me. I know she’s saying all this because she doesn’t want to see me hurt. The problem with what I had with Rafael wasn’t just that he was from a rival family. Part of it is also that something about him calls to me so instinctively. As if I can’t stay in his presence without falling right into him.
It’s both terrifying and exhilarating, and I constantly feared that one day he would realize he couldn’t do this anymore and leave me irreparably shattered.
I hadn’t wanted to give myself over to someone so capable of hurting me. And I’m not sure that anything has changed. He canhurt me in a million different ways. The worst part is that even after he’s hurt me, I know that if he crooked his finger, I would run right back, leaving a trail of blood behind from the wound in my heart.
