Page 94 of Broken Mafia Prince
“Tell me you didn’t mean it.”
I raise one trembling hand and cup his face. “I wish I didn’t. More than anything, I wish I could stay here with you and fight this losing battle, but I have to think about myself here.”
“You think I’mnotthinking about you in this messed-up situation?” he asks. “You’re all I’ve been able to think about. You won’t believe how many hours of my day I spend thinking of you, thinking of how best to keep us safe in the middle of this seemingly endless mess.”
I shake my head, trying to keep my voice from breaking. “You shouldn’t have to be the one saving me.”
“Fuck that, baby!” he bursts out. “Don’t act like I’m some martyr or good Samaritan trying to save everybody. We both know I’m an asshole, a selfish one, and the only reason I want you to be safe is because you’re the only thing I care even remotely about in this whole fucked-up world.”
That declaration shouldn’t make me feel so good. Especially after he just confirmed what I’ve always known—that he’s an asshole. But then again, he’s never put any effort into hiding it.
“You know that it could never have worked out,” I point out.
“As a matter of fact, I don’t know. So tell me, why couldn’t it have worked out?”
I sigh exasperatedly. He knows as well as I do why. Everybody in a ten-mile radius knows why, but if he wants me to be the one to say it, then I will. Gladly. I’ll be the bucket of cold water over the last embers of our fire.
“We may as well be two different species on different planets communicating with each other through a busted-up radio.”
A smile curves his mouth. “Someone’s been watching too muchStar Wars.”
“Star Trek, actually,” I quip. “It’s the superior sci-fi movie.”
“Hmm.” He pushes a stray hair away from my face, tucking it behind one ear. The way he looks at me now is the way I’ve always wanted a man to look at me.
I’ve imagined this moment right here for so long. In those hidden fantasies, the man of my dreams will look at me like I’m a fascinating new galaxy that’s just been discovered, and we’ll go off and live happily ever after. That’s why it’s a fantasy, though. I’ve long since learned that real life hates when it thinks you have it figured out.
That’s why it throws you a curveball when you least expect it. Like how I never expected to see the scarred boy from the retreatall these years later and somehow manage to end up lying naked under him. Like how we belong to two families that loathe each other.
How are we supposed to fix a generational feud while battling forces trying to keep the feud very much alive? And what if we somehow succeed, and then he stomps all over my heart?
The risk is far too great for a reward that I have no assurance I can keep forever.
“You’re now the head of your family?—”
“Temporarily,” he cuts in before I can say more. “My father will be fully recovered in no time and then?—”
“And then what?” I sit up, frustrated. The entire situation is hopeless. Why can’t he see that? “Then we’ll go back to sneaking moments in an abandoned park and the back of your car? And no, I’m not trying to make you feel shitty about what happened here. I enjoyed it just as much as you did.”
His blue eyes darken. “If you did, then you wouldn’t be trying to leave now.”
My own face hardens into granite. “Did you really just say that to me?” I hiss, reaching for my panties. This time around, he’s smart enough not to stop me.
I dig my index finger into his chest, seething. “You think I should risk my entire life and throw away a future just because you’re hung like a freaking horse?” Saying the words now causes images of his cock to flood my head.
A tingling settles in between my legs, and it only serves to make me more frustrated. I can’t end things with Raffaele while my entire body rejects the idea of never having his hands and mouth on me again.
“You can have a life here,” he insists stubbornly.
I go to grab my bra and find his underwear tangled up with mine. I pick both of them up and toss his own to him. “What kind of life could I have here? Once you take over as Don, you’llhave to continue where your father left off in planning attacks against us. My father is hurt, and his men are murmuring amongst themselves. Our allies and investors are pulling away. We’re the weakest we’ve ever been, and I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. You’re the enemy, after all.”
He flinches, a flash of pain registering in his eyes that makes me want to bite back the callous words.
“I didn’t mean that,” I say quietly.
“You did,” he replies. “I’d never hurt you, Giulia. I’d never hurt you or your family. This war isn’t ours. It belongs to men who care nothing for anyone.”
I lower my lashes, feeling pathetic for what I’m about to say. “He might not care anything for me, but I care about him.”
