Page 18 of Whisker me Away
"Couldn't sleep either?" he asked, accepting the mug she offered.
"Every time I close my eyes, I see Rufus with those black veins crawling up his arms." Freya settled at the small kitchentable, wrapping her hands around her own mug. "What if I hadn't been able to save him? What if I'm not strong enough for what's coming?"
"You saved him," Kieran said firmly. "Whatever else happens, you did that."
"Barely. And with your help." She looked at him over the rim of her coffee mug. "I still don't understand how you did that. Giving me your energy, I mean. You're not a practitioner."
"No, but I'm a shifter. We're all connected to natural magic in some way." Kieran shrugged, not sure how to explain something he didn't fully understand himself. "Miriam used to have me help with her garden workings when I was younger. Said my presence made things stronger somehow. But her being human, I figured that was easy to do."
"Tell me about her," Freya said quietly. "Miriam. How did you end up with her?"
The question should have triggered his usual deflection tactics, the easy jokes and subject changes he used to avoid talking about his past. Instead, something about the quiet intimacy of sitting in Freya's kitchen at three in the morning made him want to be honest.
"I was fifteen and had just aged out of my last foster home," he said, staring into his coffee. "Angry, pretty much feral, convinced the whole world was against me. I'd been hitchhiking for three days when I collapsed on Miriam's front steps, half-starved and looking for trouble."
"What did she do?"
"Fed me." The memory still had the power to surprise him. "Didn't ask questions, didn't lecture me about running away, just made me a sandwich and told me I could sleep on her couch for the night. One night turned into a week, a week turned into a month, and eventually she asked if I wanted to stay permanently."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that." Kieran smiled at the memory. "I kept waiting for the catch, you know? For her to change her mind or decide I was too much trouble. But she never did. Even when I screwed up, even when I pushed her away, she just kept showing up. Kept believing I was worth saving."
Freya was quiet for a long moment, thoughtful. "That's what real family does. They don't give up on you, even when you give up on yourself."
"Is that what your grandmother did? Never gave up on you?"
"In some ways." Freya's expression grew complicated. "But she also never really trusted me with the whole truth. I spent my entire childhood thinking I was learning everything there was to know about our family's magic, but it turns out I was getting the sanitized version. The pretty parts without any of the real responsibility."
"Maybe she was trying to protect you."
"Maybe. Or maybe she saw something in me that made her think I couldn't handle the truth." Freya's voice went quiet. "I keep wondering if she died thinking I was a disappointment. Too weak, too naive, too sheltered to carry on the guardian bloodline."
"That's bullshit," Kieran said making her look up in surprise. "You think a weak person could have saved Rufus tonight? You think someone naive could have figured out the corruption's targeting pattern? Give yourself some credit, Freya."
"You sound pretty sure about that for someone who barely knows me."
"I know enough. I know you're strong enough to face down a supernatural threat that would send most people running. I know you're brave enough to put yourself in danger to save others. And I know you're stubborn enough to keep fighting even when everything seems hopeless."
Freya stared at him like she was seeing him clearly for the first time. "You really believe that."
"Yeah, I do."
They sat comfortably, sipping coffee as dawn slowly approached, talking about their childhoods, about bits and pieces they hadn’t shared with many or possibly any other person. Exchanging stories in the kitchen as the rest of Hollow Oak slept.
Kieran found himself studying the way the lamplight caught in Freya's copper hair, the delicate line of her profile, the unconscious grace with which she moved even when she was tired.
Tell her,his tiger urged.Tell her about the mate bond. She deserves to know.
But before he could work up the courage, Freya started talking again.
"I used to have these dreams when I was little," she said. "About being a great healer like my grandmother, traveling around helping people, maybe even teaching at one of the magical academies. I thought being a Bloom woman meant getting to be special, you know? Getting to be important."
"Sounds like a good dream."
"It was a child's dream. All about what I could get, not what I'd have to give up." Freya's laugh was rueful. "Turns out being a guardian means never really belonging to yourself. Every choice you make has to be about duty first, personal happiness second."
"Is that what you're doing with Rowan?" The question slipped out before Kieran could stop it. "Choosing duty over happiness?"
