Page 26 of His Scandalous Lessons
Anne shut her eyes tightly. “You don’t understand.”
“How can I not understand?” He pressed her closer, widening his stance to pull her between his thighs so there was not a fraction of space between them. “Do you feel that? You want honest vocabulary, Anne? That’s my cock, and it’s hard every damn time I see you. I think about the gazebo and wish I hadn’t stopped. That I had asked permission to push my cock inside you and fucked you right there. For the rest of my life, I’ll regret that I didn’t. So yes, I do understand.”
She shook her head, those beautiful wild curls coming loose. “Stop it. No, you don’t.”
Nowanger simmered inside him. He kept it coiled tight because he would not frighten her. “Then explain it to me. Explain to me why you think I can’t possibly understand why you don’t want passion in a marriage—”
“Because I’d pretend it was you,” she burst out. At his stunned expression, she repeated herself. “I’d pretend it was you. So I’d rather go without passion than betray the man I marry by wishing he were someone else.”
Richard was silent as she dropped the mallet to the floor and strode out of the cottage.
Chapter 13
She came to croquet in a green dress that matched her eyes. Richard tried not to watch as she flirted with Granby. She lightly touched his arm when he said a joke, threw back her head and gave a full bodied laugh that flashed her dimples.
How could she appear so happy when he felt as if he were coming apart? He had returned to his room last night after she’d left the cottage, but he couldn’t sleep. All he could do was think about what she had told him, and the ache in his chest became almost unbearable.
I’d pretend it was you.
Christ, if that wasn’t a blade to the fucking heart.
“Don't stare too long,” Caroline said, coming up next to him, “or you're going to put her in an unpleasant situation.”
“I wasn't staring,” he muttered, waiting for one of the other ladies to take her turn knocking the ball through a wicket. “Granby is being overly forward.”
Caroline wasn’t fooled. “He’s being a perfect gentleman with her, Richard. He genuinely likes her.”
“I know. That’s why I hate him.” His laugh was dry. “I’m being an utter boor, aren’t I?”
“You're not the only one.” She gave a small nod to where Montgomery and Miss Cecil were arguing over where their balls landed. Miss Cecil was gesturing wildly with her mallet. “She's put Montgomery’s ball in a thorn bush.”
“Good show, Miss Cecil,” he murmured.
Caroline, however, watched the duo with a somber expression. “She shouldn't push him too hard. Nothing good comes of manipulating someone before they’re ready.”
“A voice of experience?”
“A voice of a woman whose husband left her for doing that, yes. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than losing a husband and a best friend with the same mistake. He just so happened to be both.”
“Caro—”
She shook her head. “Leave it, Richard. There’s nothing to be done.” A crack echoed across the green and Caroline forced a smile. “Excellent hit, Miss Sheffield!”
Richard looked over as Anne’s ball sailed through the final wicket and came to a rolling stop. She was grinning triumphantly, the whole of her attention on Granby. Richard felt something stir inside him, hot and ugly. Jealousy? He did not like it. She was not his.
I’d pretend it was you.
As if sensing him, Anne’s gaze flickered to his, and he put on a show of clapping. A wordless way of saying,I’m sorry. And also,I was an arse again.
Her small smile was a message returned.I’m sorry, too.
Chapter 14
Anne couldn’t stop thinking about the confession she had made to Richard in the cottage, the things he’d said in return. She did not regret her feelings, nor did she blame him for his. The truth was more complicated than what she had told him.
Anne was falling in love with Richard Grey.
She only had four days to get Granby to propose. Four days of seeing Richard every day before being forced to pretend she didn’t know him.
