Page 27 of His Scandalous Lessons
Before she was forced to pretend he meant nothing to her at all.
She had to see him; their time was so short. She did not want to spend it arguing over passion or marriage, or thinking about what her life might be like after she left Ravenhill. She wanted to make the most of what they had left. She wanted honest vocabulary and plain speaking and someone who would listen. Things she’d never had before and likely would not have again.
Her future was a double-edged sword. If Granby didn’t propose, she would once again return to her father’s control. She’d marry the Duke of Kendal and spend the rest of her life with a man who loathed her because Stanton blackmailed him into offering marriage. And if Granby did offer...
She would be his. She would bear his children.
Anne would lose Richard either way.
Richard stirred when she entered and shut the door behind her with a quietsnick. “I wondered if you would visit.”
“Are you glad I did?”
She heard the smile in his voice. “I was going to give you another five minutes before I let myself into your room. So yes, I’m glad you saved me the trouble.” When she didn’t respond, he sat up. “Anne? What is it?”
“I have four days left,” she told him. “I’m scared.”
He was quiet for the longest time. When he spoke, it was a whisper. “Come here, sweetheart.” He wrapped his warm arms around her, pulling her against him. God, he was so strong, so solid. “Granby’s a fool if he doesn’t propose to you.”
She pressed her face into his shoulder. “It’s not only that.”
Richard kissed the top of her head. “What, then?”
She breathed in his scent. He smelled of strong soap and something else that was uniquely him. She’d once told him that nothing was more beautiful than the smell of the sea during a storm, and now she would have to amend it. That memory had been replaced by him, by the rain on his skin in that gazebo, by him holding her here in this bed and comforting her when he owed her nothing.
“Richard,” she breathed, “will you kiss me? On the lips?”
He let out a soft groan as he tightened his hold on her. “Anne.”
“Kendal is the only man who has, and...”
He gently pushed her back so he could meet her gaze. “And what?”
Anne flinched. All she could think of was Kendal’s cold lips beneath hers, bruises on her shoulders, a punishing kiss meant to assert dominance. It was not for pleasure, no, but for control. A reminder that it wasn’t her he wanted, that he was just as forced by her father as she was. And he hated her for it.
“It hurt,” she told him. “Is kissing supposed to hurt?”
He made a soft noise. “No,” he said, his voice tight with some emotion. “Kissing is not supposed to hurt, sweetheart.”
Their voices were like smoke in the darkness. The barest of whispers, as if they were sharing secrets.
“What should it be like?”
Richard touched his forehead to hers, his breath whispering across her lips. She considered closing the distance, that small, yet infinite space between them. But she left it up to him.
His palm cupped her cheek. “A kiss should always leave you wanting.”
“Wanting what?” she asked, but she already knew the answer.
“Everything,” he breathed, that moment before his lips touched hers. “Everything.”
He kissed her with such certainty, such assuredness, as if their flesh recognized each other. As if they were fashioned to fit together, two grooves of stone worn away into the shape of each other. Anne had never known that such intimacy could be like a conversation, but it was. When his tongue touched hers, she heard the sounds he made and communicated with her own. Little breaths that said,yes. Touches that said,please. Wordless ways of saying,more.
It was beautiful and terrible, that kiss. How could she begin to forget such a thing? How could she go about her life tomorrow, pretending as if her entire world were still the same? This must have been how Eve felt, when she bit into that apple — knowledge was astonishing. It was terrifying.
It changed everything.
“More,” she moaned against his mouth.
