Page 16 of Fractured Grief
Dr. Jones, myIndy-bean, my best man, You are my soulmate, my ride or die, the better half of me—don’t deny it! I couldn’t have gotten through all these years without your steady presence by my side. The first day we met, I knew we were destined to be besties, forever and ever. I am who I am because of you, and OUR Hazel is amazing because she has you as her dad. (screw biology) We’ve grown together in every way imaginable, and I’m beyond proud of you. Now, use this journal and let me see the world come alive through your drawings. I love you, Indiana Jones, with all my heart. Your soul-sister, your Lexi-bean. (hand-drawnheart).
Tears dropped onto the page as I re-read her words. God, I missed her so much.
I couldn’t bring myself to look through the drawings because it would make me cry more, so I moved quickly to a blank page. Without giving it much thought, I began to sketch. Losing myself in the movements, the fluidity, and the calm that settled over me. My chest warmed at the familiar sensations. I zoned out as a picture came to life. It wasn’t until my tired eyes began to sting that I refocused and took in the form I’d been drawing.
Seb.
His unruly beard, those nearly ebony waves. The sketch was rough. I was out of practice, but his eyes were filled with despair. Seb had been on my mind, but drawing him frommemorywith sad eyes was something I’d never done before. The reason I couldn’t look at my other sketches was that they were of Lex and Haze. I drew what I could see, either from a photo or a still life, never from memory.
Well, I guess this was another first I could add to my collection.
Chapter 8
Seb
The meeting with Judy and the discharge team went well. Ma had accepted Lyric taking over my care and planned to help him move to my place this week. They would get the house ready for my return next week. I was thankful I had progressed enough to be able to go home, but I still felt torn. As much as I’d improved, my leg was still mostly numb. I’d had this vision in my head that I would be back to normal by the time I head home. So in some ways, I didn’t feel ready. In others, I couldn’t wait to have my own space again and all the comforts of home, my family, and my town.
Only nine more days.
My appointments with Levi have been transferred to his external practice, and I will receive a schedule of Judy’s and Indy’s appointments, as well as all the doctors’ follow-ups, this week. It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that my life was never going to be the same. Theseinjuries may continue, or they may fully heal, but I will always carry the scars.
“Good morning,” Indy’s cheerful voice broke through my reverie.
“Morning,” I croaked out.
“Whoa, someone’s grumpy,” Indy grinned.
“Am not,” I totally was.
“Come on, you’ll go home next week. Things are looking up.” He held my gaze as his megawatt smile grew. That cheerful expression always melted me, even at my lowest.
My lips quirked of their own volition.
“Yes! A tiny smile, I’ll take it. Now let’s go to training room two today.”
Indy moved to the side to give me space to get out of bed and head for the door. He pointedly glanced at my walker. With a put-upon sigh, I pulled the damned thing to me and let it precede me out the door.
“I saw that. No grumbling. We need to take care of that knee today. Anyway, when we get to the training room, I have an alternative for you to work with that might feel a little better.” Indy walked fast to keep pace with me. He felt even smaller than Yaya, possibly because of his compact size, but Yaya seemed bigger, with her bold personality, mannerisms, and no-nonsense demeanor.
“What else could I poss-ibly u-use?” I grumbled.
“You’ll see. Let’s just say it isn’t as intrusive as the walker,” Indy said, still radiating sunshine.
When we arrived, Indy took me through the routine warm-up stretches and strength training. Once we’dfinished our usual exercises, he took me over to the parallel bars and presented me with a simple black cane.
“What’s that f-f-for?” I asked.
“This is the surprise I was talking about. You could move from your walker to this cane, and it will allow you a little more maneuverability,” he said, beaming at me.
I stared at the cane like it had teeth.
Indy’s sunshine dimmed as he took a step forward to gaze into my eyes. “Hey now, don’t let your pride take over. Pause and think for a second. Many people of varying ages and abilities use canes. It doesn’t age you. It’s what can help you now.” He placed his delicate hand over mine at my side and squeezed it, sending pleasant tingling up my arm. He always seemed to know what so say.
Taking a deep breath, I did as he’d suggested. I thought about how unobtrusive the cane looked. It was a simple stick of strong plastic—or metal, from the looks of it—with a black handle and dark gray rubber foot. Okay, I could do this.
“Let’s give it a-a t-try,” I said.
“Good choice.”
