Page 17 of Fractured Grief
He guided me to stand on the outside of the parallel bars with my left hand on the bar and the cane in my right. It was hard to get my leg to cooperate and to trust a light metal stick to hold most of my weight. After what felt like hours, I’d finally made it the length of the bars only using the cane. Even as sweat trickled down my back, warmth settled inside me and grew as I looked up at Indy, who was vibrating with pride and joy.
“How did that feel?” he asked.
“S-surprising-ly good.”
“Yay! I’m so glad. It even managed to drag a smile out of you.”
Bringing my left hand to my face, I ran it over my scruffy beard. I was smiling. A full, wide grin, and I hadn’t even felt it. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled like that. Overcome with happiness, I took a few steps toward Indy and lifted him into my arms and somewhat stupidly spun us in a circle on my good leg, like some deranged hulking ballet dancer. Indy was so surprised that he gripped my shoulders tightly as a laugh bubbled out of him, and I didn’t think I’d heard a sweeter sound.
“Okay, okay, be careful,” he smacked my shoulder. “Put me down right now before you hurt yourself.”
Setting him down, I shifted to lean safely on the parallel bars with both feet on the floor. Indy was right; that move had been risky, but I’d been so overcome with joy, I’d just reacted.
Indy’s face was flushed as he smiled at me nervously. “So, I take it you’re happy with the cane then?”
“Yes! It felt like I was walking on my own. I almost feltfree,” I sighed out the last word as dueling emotions overtook me. “Is that weird?”
“Not at all. Just think about when you first got here and couldn’t walk. You’ve come so far, Seb, and you’ve done all the work. You should feel so proud of this and everything you’ve accomplished.” Indy’s face softened as he gazed up at me. “You know what else?”
“What?”
“You just spoke all that without any stutters, slurs, or pauses,” he said, beaming at me.
My mind was reeling.Had I really done that?“That’s good, right?” I asked, as a new hope sparkled in my chest. “That’s got to be g-good.” Just as quickly as the high hit, I crashed as my last word stuttered out.
Indy gripped both my hands and held them to his chest. “Hey,” he said firmly, causing me to shiver. “It isgreat,Seb. All those words isprogress. Don’t lose hope. It’s not going to fix itself overnight magically, and only one stutter in a few sentences is fantastic. Be proud!”
We were standing close, our bodies almost touching as a heaviness settled around us.
He was radiating pride and happiness. A source of joy too perfect for this world. I wanted to live in his light and keep his sunshine all to myself.
The warm feeling in my stomach turned to butterflies as I studied his multicolored eyes. We seemed to move together, holding our gazes as we swayed closer.
Indy’s cheeks flushed as he broke eye contact and shifted, moving a step away while rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah... I think we should call it for today. Let’s end the session on this win, and I’ll see you tomorrow,” he sputtered, looking at his feet. “Let’s head back.”
He exchanged the cane for my walker, and we made our way to my room, but something had shifted. I wasn’t sure what it was as silence settled over us like a cloud.
Chapter 9
Indy
Shit!
What the hell just happened?
What the hellwasthat?
In that moment, I’d been drawn to Seb; there was no one else but me and him. His excited gaze had hypnotized me as I’d leaned toward him, but I was his physical therapist. That was a line I couldn’t cross.
Lost in my thoughts, we slowly made our way back to Seb’s room in silence. We were rarely quiet. I’d known and acknowledged that Seb was attractive from our first meeting, but I'd always remained professional. This job was too important. It was part of me, and all I’d sacrificed to get here had shaped me into who I was.
But the connection with Seb was unlike anything else.
I’d worked with attractive people before, even with men I knew were gay and flirted relentlessly, but I’d always been professional, not developing feelings beyond kinship andpride. What was it about Seb that seemed to have broken through my barriers?
Nothing happened.
His excitement had taken me completely off guard. Gripping his arms and feeling those firm biceps as I shared in his elated pirouette caused butterflies to come to life and my heart to skip a beat. When he’d lowered me, the air between us had been charged. Electricity danced over my skin where we’d touched as I’d gazed into his mesmerizing green eyes.
