Page 22 of Fractured Grief
But what if I want it to be my business...
“Who are you and what have you done with the immature jokester brother?” I stammered as I reached for Lyric to bring him into a headlock, but he quickly jumped away from me.
“Oh, no you don’t!” He danced away from me, laughing, his infamous dimple peeking out. “And don’t you try and chase me. That’s not a good idea with your leg.”
“Okay, okay.” I held my hands out in surrender, then grabbed my cane and made my way into the kitchen after Lyric. “You can t-talk to me about anything. You know that, right?” I made sure to catch Lyric’s gaze. His eyes were so similar to Pa’s that it was almost a punch in the gut. Like Pa’s ghost was looking back at me.
“Yeah, bro. I know,” Lyric rolled his eyes. “Just focus on your session and stop worrying about every little thing. Focus on yourself for a change.”
“Seb?” Indy called.
“Yeah, we’re in the k-kitchen,” I hollered, as I moved into the living room so he could see me from the hall. “Do you want some water or a drink?”
“Water would be great, thank you.”
Indy came toward us, somewhat cautiously, like he was worried I was going to start grilling him again. “You’re okay, then?” Passing him a glass of water.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about that. I didn’t check myself before I got out of the car and should’ve made sure I was presentable before barging in here looking like an exhausted pigeon.”
“It’s no worry,” Lyric piped up. “This one was going all Neanderthal, thinking you needed saving. I think he has a secret desire to be Prince Charming.”
Of course, Lyric would jump in with even less tact than he accused me of having.
Rolling my eyes, I spluttered, “Really? You just got done lecturing me that it was none of our business, and you g-go and say that.” I swatted him on the back of his head.
“Ouch! Hey! That was uncalled for.”
“It was t-totally called for! Now, screw off. Let me have my session in peace.”
“Language! I’m gonna tell Yaya, and she’ll wash your mouth out with soap.” He poked out his tongue.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I huffed. “Lyric.” I drew out his name in exasperation. He loved to push my buttons. “Go. Please.” I loved my brother, but sometimes hewas exhausting.
“All right, all right. I’ll head out and be back before the end of your session so I can make sure you’re not giving Indy, here, a hard time.” With that last remark, his laughter followed him out the door.
“Sorry about that. Lyric has t-rouble with boundaries and can be a p-pain in the ass.”
“It’s fine. My best friend was kind of like that. Always trying to make me laugh. Getting us into all kinds of trouble.” A wistful look crossed his face.
His best friendwaslike that?
Was the reason for his sadness, loneliness, and tears?
It’s none of your business.
“So, where do you want to do this?” I asked. “I’d prefer to stay in the house if you think it could work.” A lump formed in my throat. Swallowing hard, I decided to embrace the honesty Levi had been encouraging me to use. “I do have a home g-gym, but I haven’t used it since my Pa died. It’s in the garage workshop at the back of the p-property.” Even just thinking about Pa and the garage was enough to engulf me and my eyes started to burn. I didn’t even know I was rubbing over my heart until Indy took my hand in his small one and moved to catch my eye.
“I’m so sorry. Losing someone you love is devastating, world-changing. They say it takes time to heal, but I haven’t found that yet. I’m not sure I ever will. There’s no timeline on grief.”
He was gazing up at me, tears caught on his long eyelashes. “Your best friend?” I asked, hedging my bets.
“Yeah.” His voice cracked as a lone tear broke free and cascaded down his cheek. “It’s coming up on a year.”
“I’m sorry. The first year is the hardest. It’s been over three years for me, and the h-heartache never seems to go away.”
We gazed into each other’s eyes, sadness for our lost loved ones bubbling under the surface, but in kinship, too, at seeing the same grief reflected back.
The desire to protect surged in me again. I wanted to be able to take his pain away. I wanted to make him smile again.
