Page 23 of Fractured Grief
Indy was the first to break out of our trance, hurriedly wiping away his tears. “Sorry.” He took a step back, dropping my hand. “I’ve cried enough for one day,” he said with a forced chuckle.
Raising my eyebrow at his words, I silently implored him to continue.
“Her birthday’s coming up. It’s been a hard week.” That was all he said to my unasked questions.
“First one without her?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yeah, and Hazel’s started acting out, too. I think it’s affecting her more now that we’re settled into our house and routine.”
I couldn’t help but reach out and pull him into my arms. He was so slight against me. So delicate, so precious. He leaned into my embrace, his head resting on my chest, right over my heart. He fit perfectly in thecradle of my arms. I couldn’t help but give in to the impulse to breathe him in as peace settled over me.
This feltrightin a way nothing else ever had.
We stayed like that. Locked together, taking comfort in the fact that we weren’t alone in this moment before what he’d said finally broke through to my brain. “Who’s Hazel?”
Indy jumped a little at my voice as it shattered the fragile trance we were in. Indy took a step back, looking a little shaken. “Oh, ah... She’s my daughter?”
Why did that sound like a question? Wait, daughter? Holy crap, Indy had a daughter. Indy was a dad. I had a crush on a dad. Wait a second. Was Indy even single? I was so shocked by the news, I stood frozen on the living room rug for far too long.
“Ah, Seb? You okay?” he asked, hesitantly, like he was waiting for me to berate him in some way.
Shaking myself out of my stupor, I finally got my mouth to work. “S-sorry, I had no idea you were a dad.”
“Yep, she’s my world in a newly sassy, eight-year-old little package.”
Eight! But Indy was only twenty-five. As the thought registered, I glanced at Indy and watched him flinch and step away from me.
“You did the math. Yep, I was a teen dad.” He’d put more distance between us and shuffled his feet, looking nervous.
“Wow, and you put yourself through school and everything while parenting an infant? I’m impressed. It was just a shock to hear you’re a dad. I didn’t realize you had a partner, let alone a daughter.” I tried to smile as my stomachsank. Stupid hormones, choosing now to come to life and choosing the wrong person. I was chastising myself, so lost in my thoughts, I almost didn’t hear his next whispered words.
“I don’t have a partner.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Oh, separated? S-sorry to presume. I’m confus—” His best friend. Fuck, he’d lost his best friend, partner, and mother to his child in one hit. “Shit.”
“Yep.” He was looking down at his shoes, shrinking in on himself.
“Oh, Indy, I’m so sorry,” I stuttered out as I moved forward, needing to hold him as my heart broke for this man and his daughter. “Is Hazel okay? Do you have any support since you moved? I don’t even know what to say.”
Indy fell apart; his small body racked with sobs as he sagged against me. This man was just as broken as me. I held him and let him embrace his grief. At least he seemed to face his; I couldn’t even go into my garage and look at an old car.
Indy’s sobs soon turned to sniffles as he pulled away. “Oh my God, I’m a mess. This is so unprofessional. I’m sorry, Seb.”
He turned away from me as he tried to regain control. I didn’t want space between us, but I understood.
“Hey, it’s okay. If anyone was g-going to understand what you were going th-rough, it was me. You can’t help when you’re hit by gr-grief.” I reached down to the coffee table, grabbed the box of tissues, and handed them to Indy.
“Thanks.” He paused to wipe his face and blow his nose. He looked exhausted. “I’m usually much better at compartmentalizing. I’m sorry. Please, let me reschedule this appointment, and I’ll explain everything to Carol so you won’t be charged. Again, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about any of that. T-take a breath. You’re more important than any appointment. Plus, you got Lyric out of my house for a while. I sh-ould be thanking you.” I tried to lighten the mood and ease his mind a little.
Indy’s gaze snapped to mine, looking wide-eyed. “I’m important?” he said in a hushed whisper.
“Yeah. If I’ve l-learned anything from what happened, it’s that t-taking care of your mental health is as, if not more, important than taking care of the body.”
A small smile finally softened his face. “Thanks, Seb. Just saying that means a lot.”
Lyric chose that moment to burst back in, loudly, suddenly, and in a veryLyricway, causing both of us to jump.
