Page 29 of Fractured Grief
I’d realized I was attracted to men from a young age, but I lived in fear of anyone knowing. But if I were foundout, then Seb would be too, and no one would mess with someone as large and formidable looking as him.
Then I’d noticed his package. He was hard. And oh boy, that was bigger than anything I’d ever seen, even in porn—not that I’d been able to watch much, butwow.
I hadn’t known what to do. I was caught in his gaze, then his hand had stilled mine, and I’d been transfixed. He’d used his hand to cover his growing erection and maybe ease the pressure, but when he’d brought that hand to my face and caressed my cheek, I’d thought I would explode on the spot. I’d been so close, so on edge, so mesmerized by our connection. No one had ever touched me, and to have the intoxicating presence of Seb trace over my lips with his calloused thumb, I was a goner.
I set my laptop aside and lay back on my bed. It crossed so many lines, and I knew it was wrong, but if I took care of my problem, then I could focus.
No one needed to know.
Settling back on my bed, I pushed my covers off as I traced my hands over my chest and down my stomach to my groin. I was already leaking through my underwear as I gave myself a cautious squeeze.
I thought about Seb’s long hair and disheveled beard. What would it feel like for him to kiss me? Would he take control or be sweet and gentle?
Reaching under my T-shirt, I tweaked my nipple, knowing Seb could probably play my body like a fiddle. He was larger than life, but so kind and stoic. He’d care for me and make sure all my needs were met.
Keeping one hand toying with my nipple, I slipped the other into my boxers and started to stroke. I never thought about cock sizes in the past, but Seb’s would have to be double mine. What would it feel like to touch? What would he taste like? I wanted to lick him, bring him pleasure. I wanted to serve him, take care of his needs, and be filled by him.
Desire surged in my belly, dancing through my limbs as I thought about Seb’s large body over mine and having him kiss me and finally, being kissed! His tongue swiping into my mouth as he claimed me. My body reacted so viscerally that my orgasm hit me like a freight train. Cum spurted from my tip, into my underwear, and over my fist as I stroked myself through the pleasure, wringing out every drop.
I was breathing heavily, and while I felt relief at scratching the itch, I also realized I was screwed. I was completely attracted to my client.
What the fuck was I going to do?
Chapter 16
Seb
Having fallen asleep to thoughts of kissing Indy and our last appointment fumble, I wasn’t sure how to act when I welcomed him into my house again.
He flushed bright red as soon as he greeted me and seemed more nervous and fidgety than usual. But I was no better.
“Should we, ah—”
“Sorry about—”
We both started to speak at the same time, then chuckled. That was turning into a habit.
“You go—”
“Go ahead—”
Rubbing the back of my neck anxiously, I smiled. “How about I go first? I honestly don’t know what happened at our last appointment. I wanted to thank you for sharing some of your l-life with me and letting me open up about my Pa. That meant a lot because I haven’t beenable to t-talk about him much. It’s too p-painful,” I took a breath, preparing my last apology. “I also wanted to apologize if I made you uncomfortable. I’m s-sorry for my inconvenient bodily reaction. I like you, Indy, but I’m not s-sure what that means, and I’d never want to cross a line or put your job at risk.”
“Wait, hold up. You like me?” His gaze snapped to mine, mouth gaping like a fish.
Chuckling, I closed his mouth with my forefinger. “Yes, I like you. You’re pure s-sunshine and you have me enchanted.”
Indy shifted, shuffling from foot to foot as he gazed away, ears turning pink. He didn’t look up as he whispered, “No one’s ever said anything like that to me. I’m not sure what to say.”
His bashfulness made him that much more adorable. I wanted to pull him into my arms so bad I had to fist my hands at my sides to curb the impulse.
“You don’t need to say anything. I know how important your job must be from what you’ve t-told me about yourself. Now that I know you have a daughter, I understand even more. I’d like to continue our sessions, s-since we work so well t-together,” I paused to breathe and prepared my next words. “I don’t want to start over with someone new. But if you’re uncomfortable, I’d understand if you need to p-pull back.” I wanted to reach out and touch him, get him to look at me again and share that sunshine smile, but I meant what I’d said.
He fidgeted, not saying anything. He seemed lost in thought. Tension mounted in me as I waited for him to speak.
“Thank you for your honesty, Seb. I appreciate it. I, ah, like you, too, but my job is very important to me, so if you want me on as your physical therapist, then we need to keep the professional boundaries in place. I’m sorry, but I can’t risk losing my job.” He finally caught my gaze with a sad smile. His eyes held all his hopes and dreams as he tried to embody the words he’d spoken and put on his “professional mask.” I would let him have it for now.
Truthfully, we didn’t know each other all that well, and while I liked him, I didn’t know what my confusion over my sexuality might mean for a relationship. Could it be a deal breaker? I didn’t know. Emily and I had drifted apart, but I’d thought that had been the distance between her at college and me staying in Hope’s Ridge.
