Page 36 of Fractured Grief
Nerves twisted my gut. Does she know I like Seb? Did someone see us? Am I about to lose my job?I felt nauseous as I sat in the seat she’d indicated.
“So, what happened?” Carol asked, face passive.
“What do you mean?” I hesitated, needing to know what she knew before I spoke.
“With Seb. How was he injured? We need to write up a report.”
My shoulders sagged.Thank goodness.I recounted what I’d seen and everything I’d done. Well,almosteverything. Carol wrote as I spoke, interjecting every now and then to clarify, and we had my side of the report written up in less than ten minutes.
“We’ll need to go through Sebastian’s side of things, but we can do that in a minute,” she paused as her gaze locked with mine. “Is there anything else you need to tell me?”
I was torn. I wanted to be honest, but I didn’t want to risk losing my job, damaging my reputation, or being taken off Seb’s care. He didn’t have that many appointments left. We could wait.But should we?
Her eyes twinkled as she took in my hesitation, my silence. “How about this? For the next ten minutes, I’m not your boss. I’m a friend asking about a friend and how they’re doing. Nothing you say in the next ten minutes will affect your job or standing here.”
She knew!
“Okay?” I spoke questioningly, unsure if I was really being given a ‘get out of jail free’ card. “So, I can say anything and not get fired,” I joked, testing the waters.
Carol chuckled. “Well, maybe not anything. Don’t go saying how much you hate your boss or whatnot, but yes, in this moment, you can tell me what you need to.”
She leaned forward in her seat, radiating sincerity. Her smile put me at ease, and I knew her to be a fair, kind, and understanding boss and businesswoman.
“I have feelings for Seb.” My hands flew to cover my mouth. I hadnotmeant to blurt that out. “Shit,” I hissed as I covered my face and let my head fall to the desk, only slightly mortified and admittedly worried about seeing the look on Carol’s face.
Her soft laugh greeted my ears as her hand settled on the back of mine. “It happens to the best of us. It’s how you handle the feelings that would affect your job. Let’s talk more about it.”
“So, I’m not fired?” I said weakly.
“No,” she paused, and my stomach cramped. “No, I promised you could tell me anything and you wouldn’t be fired, but I need to know what the extent of these feelings are, are they reciprocated, and have they been acted on. I need the truth so we can find the best solution moving forward.”
I didn’t know how to articulate any of that, but it looked like my mouth had run away with me again as I blurted, “We kissed.”
What the hell was wrong with me?
“Sorry, let me try this again.” I took a deep breath. “I found Seb attractive from day one, but would never have acted on it. It wasn’t until today, when I saw the taxi hit him, that I realized just how much I like him. And today, in the office, a little while ago was the first time we kissed.”
“I take it he responded to the kiss and perhaps likes you, too,” Carol clarified.
“Yes.”
“Well, it’s not great that it happened on company grounds, but I can understand. You of all people know better than most how fragile life can be. When two people are clearly attracted to each other like you two, it seems inevitable.”
“What do you mean, clearly attracted to each other? How’d you know?” I was a bit shocked. Had we been that obvious?
“The way you two look at each other when you don’t think anyone’s around. The way Seb watches you when you’re not looking. I sensed there was a connection there, and in a way, I’m glad to see my instincts are still spot on.”
I guess we weren’t as stealthy as I’d hoped. “What does this mean going forward? What about Seb’s care? He’s come so far, and I don’t want this to affect his progress.”
She tilted her head and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds. “There are a few options, but the best one would be to assign Seb a different physical therapist. Do you think he’d be amenable to that? I know he’s struggled with the many personnel changes he went through early on. There are notes in his file. The other option is to continue and pledge to end your relationship immediately; in this instance, we would need additional observations, as he’s currently being treated at home. I’ll be honest with you, the second option will go on your personnel file, so it could affect future employment. It would also be morenoticeable. People will talk, but in option two, there will be no hiding it. You’re young and a great physical therapist. I’ve loved having you on my team and would hate to see this tarnish your career when you’re just starting. You need to think seriously about what you want and what you’re willing to sacrifice. You will need to decide and ensure Seb understands all the implications.
“Since today is your day off and everything happened when you weren’t acting as Seb’s PT, I can turn a blind eye at this point, but please consider your career. You’re talented, and I can see you going far. Thank you for being honest with me and trusting me. Off the record, you’re a wonderful person, and with all you’ve been through, I’m happy if you’ve found someone who makes you smile again.” She patted my hand before standing. “Now, let’s go and see if Julian’s finished with your man.” She winked before grabbing the report and leaving me gaping behind her.
Chapter 18
Indy
Lyric had been a vibrating mess of anxiety when Carol and I returned to Seb. His cheeks were gaunt, and he had dark circles under his eyes. He looked exhausted.
