Page 39 of Fractured Grief
“She’s the best.”
We fell into an awkward silence. I didn’t know where to start or what to say.
Indy broke the silence first. “So, I meant what I said today. I really like you, Seb, but I, or I guess we, have a decision to make.”
“What do you mean? What sort of decision?”
“Carol sort of knows,” he paused for a beat, “about us.”
“Really? What does that mean for you? Your j-job isn’t in trouble, is it?” I stammered, worried I’d caused him to risk his livelihood.
“That’s sort of what we need to decide. Carol spoke in very general terms, and nothing’s official yet, but we either get you a new PT or we stop seeing each other until your rehab is finished. If we choose option two, I will need to have someone with me for your appointments. It sounds like I’d be under observation to ensure our relationship doesn’t affect your care and to confirm that we have actually stopped seeing each other. I don’t like the idea of being watched, and it worries me what observation could mean for my future. Carol mentioned something about my permanent record, but I didn’t stop to clarify what she meant,” Indy said.
“That sounds like a lot. So, it’d be easier to sw-switch to a new PT, right? Is that what you’d prefer?” I didn’t want to, but I’d let Indy lead and do my best to give him what he wanted.
“Honestly, none of this is ideal. I’ve enjoyed guiding your recovery and don’t want to give it up, but I’m concerned about what staying on would do to my career. We’d also have to stop seeing each other before we even had a chance to start. I’m not sure I’m that patient.” Indy’s teasing chuckle warmed me to my core, and I couldn’t help the wave of happiness that welled inside me.
“I don’t think I’m patient either. It’s been hard to hold back as it is, but knowing how you feel and not being able to act on it will only make it harder. I’d like to get to know you better, Indy. I’d like to spend time with you, outside of work. It’s going to be a challenge either way.”
“It is.” The weight of his words sat heavy in the air.
“What do you want?”
“I just want to see you. I’ve never felt like this before, and I’m tired of denying myself; I'd like to see where this goes. How about you?”
“I’d love to t-take you on a date.” I’m not sure I’d ever asked someone out on a date so formally before. Emily and I fell into our relationship, and other than asking her to prom, which confirmed our relationship, we never really went on dates. We just hung out, like kids do.
“Really?” The hesitation and surprise in Indy’s voice did something funny to my insides.
How this kind and caring man could be so unsure was a travesty. I vowed to show him he was worth all the love and kindness in the world.
“Yes, I’m sure.” I paused to gather myself. “So, I’ll g-get a new PT and I can take you on a date.”
The whisperedokayfrom Indy was followed by a contented sigh.
“You must be t-tired too after today. You should get some sleep. Do I need to do anything to change PTs? When’s your next day off? I have a date to p-plan.”
“I’m not sure. I’ll talk to Carol tomorrow and let you know. I’m sure it will be worked out quickly.”
“And your next day off?” I insisted.
I could almost picture his beautiful face as a husky chuckle met my ear. “My next day off is Saturday.”
“Cool, I’ll th-ink of something. So that I know, are you an early riser?” An idea was forming, but I needed some more information first.
“I can be, if pressured into it. But I am a dad, so I’m used to early wake-ups.”
“Fair point. I’ll think on it,” I commented.
“Also, I have my car, so I am happy to come to you,” Indy said.
Shit!In all our discussions, I’d conveniently forgotten about my ongoing injuries and the fact that I still couldn’t drive.
How depressing. No! Snap out of it!
That would limit our date options significantly, but I was determined.
“You might have to dr-rive...”I would think of something.
