Page 56 of Fractured Grief
Carefully tucking Hazel into the rollaway bed, I ensured she was settled.
This was a big step for both of us. Sleeping somewhere new at a moment’s notice. She was handling everything so much better than I thought she would.
“I’ll be right in there,” I said, pointing to the room we changed in. “So, if you need me or get scared, you can come right in, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy.” She shuffled further into the bed so just her head peeked through the covers. “Hey, Daddy?”
“Yes, sweetheart.”
“It was fun watching Tangled with other people. It was like it was with Mommy. It felt nice.” She smiled at me with all her adorable innocence.
I had to fight back tears at her words. “I’m so glad you enjoyed yourself. It was fun,wasn’t it?”
“Could we do it again?” her eyes pleaded with me to say yes. “That lady said we are family, so could we have more family movie nights soon, like we did with Mommy? It would be nice to have more family.”
Her words were both breaking my heart and lifting me up. She always managed to surprise me with her resilience.
After our recent fight where she accused me of being too happy, it was refreshing to see her embracing other adults and welcoming them into our traditions, even if it was just another movie night. It was her way of opening up, and I couldn’t be prouder.
“That would be wonderful, honey. I’m sure we can have many more. It sounds like there are a lot of movies we need to show Seb.” I gently brushed her hair off her face.
“And Lyric, too. He looks sad and needs to see all the happy movies.”
“What makes you think Lyric is sad?” I asked. I hadn’t noticed anything.
“When he looked at us while we were watching the movie. He looked sad, like he wanted to join in when we cuddled, and he was lonely sitting in that seat by himself.” I had to give her credit; she saw more than others.
“Well, we’ll make sure to include him next time, okay.” I kissed her forehead.
“Okay, Daddy.” She wrapped her little arms around me for a hug before whispering. “Is Seb your boyfriend?” Her question had me frozen in place.
“What makes you say that?”
“You’re sharing his bed. I thought only couples did that. You and Mommy didn’t share, so if you’re sharing with Seb, then you must be boyfriends.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. This felt like a pivotal moment. Hazel had never seen me or Lex with anyone. I didn’t even know she thought that couples shared a bed.
“Would it be okay if Seb were my boyfriend?”
Her little nose scrunched up in thought before she nodded. “Yes, that would be okay. He’s nice and he makes you smile.”
“He does. And that’s okay?” I asked.
“I think so. It doesn’t mean you don’t miss Mommy. I smile and laugh with Mel, but I still miss Mommy.”
“That’s true. Thank you, sweetheart,” I smiled at her. “Now it’s time for sleep. Goodnight.”
“Night, Daddy.”
I made my way to Seb’s bedroom. This was a first for me, too. Sharing a bed with someone I had romantic feelings for. Lex and I had shared a bed when we had to, but it was like siblings, so this was a completely different experience. I didn’t know what to expect.
I was giddy but surprisingly not nervous.
Entering the room, Seb was doing his stretches beside the bed, clad in only a tight t-shirt and boxer briefs. I froze and just about swallowed my tongue at the sight.
“Sorry,” he said off-hand as he finished the stretch, “it’s easier to feel the stretch with only my boxers on. I’ll put on more clothes once I’m done.” The blush rising to hischeeks was so endearing, I felt my own cheeks heat at being caught ogling.
“No, no, it’s fine. Whatever is most comfortable and helpful is best. Don’t change your routine for me,” I hesitated. “Uh, do you have anything I can wear? I don’t have any clothes for myself, not that any of your stuff would fit me. You’re huge.” My hands came up to clap over my mouth in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. It’s not a bad thing. You’re so much bigger than me. I don’t think I’d fit anything of yours. But I’m not sure what to wear. I could just wear my underwear, but I think I’d prefer something more. Not that sleeping naked is bad... Oh my God.”
