Page 86 of Fractured Grief
After Levi’s persuasion, I’d booked in with my tattoo artist, Davy, for when she came back to town in three months from Japan, to assess and fix my ruined tattoo. She’d heard about my injuries and was happy to hear from me, even though she was as devastated as I was about my tattoo’s damage. She knew how much it meant to me.
I’d taken to chatting to Alfie every other day. He was still deep in his recovery, but similarly to Indy, he was always a beacon of positivity, and just talking to him made me smile.
While I still couldn’t feel my leg fully, my recovery had progressed in leaps and bounds in the last couple of weeks.
Working with Carol was a completely different experience from working with Indy, but she was good and pushed me to be better.
I’d improved enough that Levi was happy to drop our sessions down to bi-monthly and had given me recommendations for people who had openings and could help Lyric, with what we all suspected might be PTSD.
Lyric was my only other frustration. Now that I didn’t need his hands-on help anymore, he’d taken to avoiding me and had been at Ma’s or the restaurant more than at my house. He was becoming harder to pin down. Other than our forced hikes, which required too much focus and energy that I couldn’t talk to him how I wanted. I’d hardly ever see him.
Kay seemed to be similarly affected by Lyric’s withdrawal and continued distance from all of us.
My hurt for these two best friends. The distance and pain they were each in was heartbreaking. I wished there wasmore I could do, some way to bring them back together, to get them talking to each other again. Kay was like a brother to me as much as Lyric was, and he seemed shattered without Lyric.
On the positive side of my family’s dramas, Theo had aced his exams and completed his one hundred hours, so he was now a fully qualified paramedic. We were all so proud of him, and if he could face and get through all that had happened to Atty, Bodhi, and me in the last year, then he was going to be an amazing Paramedic in this community. He was taking some time off, staying in town, before he started his new job. We were glad to have him home.
Asher, the travelling mechanic, Atty hired, started last week, and I’d been able to meet him a few times. He was genuinely a nice guy and fit in well, taking some of the stress off Atty’s shoulders. I longed to get back to work, but still couldn’t do everything I used to, but I was so close. Atty had mentioned a new restoration project on the books in a month, and it was a dream project. I vowed to be ready for it. It was the restoration of a 1967 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500.
Vintage and historical mechanical restorations were my specialty, and people traveled miles to have me restore and service their vehicles. My heart hurt, and I rubbed my chest at the thought of my Pontiac, wasting away in my garage.
Pa had built our garage up on our vintage restorations’ specialties, but only I followed in his footsteps. Atty hadnever had the same drive to fix old cars as I did. He was still undecided between being a full-time mechanic and going into vet nursing when Pa announced he wanted to retire and hand over the garage to us. I think that solidified Atticus’s decision to carry on Pa’s legacy and grow it into what it is today.
I missed Indy more and more as the days went on. He even had to skip our Thanksgiving Dinner and had a quiet meal with Hazel. It saddened me that he’d miss such a feast, but I understood, especially when he had to work the next day—downside to being connected to a hospital.
I was getting ready to leave for dinner at Ma’s house on Friday, yes, we have a Thanksgiving leftover dinner, when my phone rang. It was Indy.
“Hey, Sunshine. How was your day?” I asked, already feeling lighter at being able to talk to him.
“It was okay,” he murmured, sadness leaking into his voice.
“Sweetheart, what’s the matter?”
“Just a hard, long week,” he breathed heavily. My poor Indy, I wanted nothing more than to hold and comfort him. “It’s her birthday today,” he whispered, “And she’s not here.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” The first birthday without Pa had been the hardest, but I’d had my whole family. We’d leaned on each other and ensured we were okay, but Indy didn’t have anyone. He had me, but I couldn’t get to him, and in that moment, I’d never felt morehelpless.
“Tell me about her,” I whispered, knowing it was hard, but it had helped me, so I hoped it could help him too.
He told me story after story. How they’d met at ten years old when he was the new kid, and how she’d saved him from a pack of bullies, to her rebellious stage and her hidden tattoo, to their early years with Hazel. He occasionally laughed, sometimes choked up, but by the end, I felt closer to him and knew Lexi so much better.
“She sounded like a beautiful soul, just like you. You were lucky to have her in your life.”
“I miss her,” he whispered, his voice shaking.
“I know you do, sweetheart. I wish I could be there with you. Try to remember the good times. She was courageous and strong, and she would want you to live on for her.” I knew in my soul that Lex would have a fit if Indy didn’t keep on living and striving to fulfill their dreams. I hoped more than ever that I was part of that dream for him. “Do you think she would have approved of me?” I asked half joking, half serious.
“She would have loved you, Seb. She would have threatened your manhood if you were to hurt me, but she would have seen what I do.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and I knew he’d be okay.
“And what’s that?” I asked, needing to know what he was going to say.
“That you’re perfect for me.” My heart raced double time at his whispered words.
“Oh, Indy. I love you so much, Sunshine. I wish I could be there with you right now. I’m sorry I can’t hug you and holdyou through this, especially today.” I vowed to call Judy and Carol tomorrow and get a timeline on when I could drive.
“It’s okay, Seb. You’re in my heart, and just talking to you is helping. Thank you for letting me share her with you.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Sunshine. I’m here for you always, and Lexi is a part of you and Hazel. I’m honored you shared her with me.”
