Page 89 of Fractured Grief
“Hi Lyric. Hi Atticus.” I greeted each of them in turn once Seb put me down. “What happened to waiting for me to reveal the surprise?”
“We thought with your challenging night last night, you could use this big lug as company, so we surprised him early.” Atty jostled Seb’s shoulder. “I’m sorry we couldn’t get him to you sooner. The first birthday is the hardest.”
The thought and care these brothers had for each other, and now for me, blew my mind. They’d altered a vehicle for their brother, not knowing if he’d ever fully recover, or how long he’d need it. They’d taken him to all his necessary appointments and supported him with his new driving assessment. I was extra blessed that Seb was willing to share them with me.
“So does that mean you had your driving assessment today?” I asked Seb, finally putting the pieces together.
“Wait, how’d you know?”
“Bodhi mentioned Judy this morning, and you were standing here by a vehicle by yourself… Does that mean you passed and drove here?” I was elated.
I knew how frustrated Seb was at not being able to drive, but now that he could, he must be over the moon.
“I did and I did,” he chuckled. “It was different but not too hard. I adapted pretty well. I’m so thankful Atty was willing to alter his truck. It’s rare for me to be able to fit in a regular vehicle.”
“Anything for you, bro, you know that,” Atty said as he reached over and tried to pull Seb in for a noogie. Seb was too tall, and his cane got in the way; they sort of just collided together in an awkward tackle hug instead. We all laughed at the absurdity.
“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m hungry,” Lyric exclaimed. “What’s good around here?”
And with that, we all walked up the drive and into my townhouse. We needed to celebrate Seb’s newest win and another step inhis recovery.
We’d settled on Thai for lunch, which was delivered quickly, and we sat around my living room eating and chatting. Atty and Seb were discussing their new mechanic, Asher, and Lyric had mentioned that Theo was back.
I don’t think it was something I’d ever had before. Just sitting around shooting the shit so freely. I loved it. Each of these men had their own personalities and quirks, and it was fun getting to know them all.
We finished lunch, and Atticus and Lyric said their goodbyes and headed back to Hope’s Ridge. I loved that Seb could stay, and we didn’t have to rush our visit.
We settled onto the couch to watch a movie and enjoy the quiet of being together.
“I love having you in my arms,” Seb murmured into my neck, as I sat between his legs on the chaise part of the couch. His arms wrapped around my front. I loved being cocooned in his scent, his strength. Nothing bad could touch me when I was in his arms.
“How are you feeling after yesterday?”
“I’m okay. It was hard, and in ways it might always be hard, but I know that once her birthday passed, her date of death is that much closer. I’m not sure I’m ready,” my voice shook, even to my own ears. “She died on December 14.”
“Oh, Sunshine, I’m so sorry. Is there anything you want to do? My family and I will be here for you and Hazel, whatever you need.”
“Thanks, Seb. I don’t know what to do yet. Her ashes are still in a box in the garage, as I couldn’t find a worthy enough spot for her.” It hurt to think that she was justgathering dust, hidden away. “What did you do for your Pa?”
“Greek tradition is probably a little different from what you’d expect. On the yearly anniversary, we hold another memorial service called a Mnemosyne. We gathered like we did when Pa first passed. We make offerings of koliva and hold a church service, say the Trisagion prayer and hymns, have a memorial feast, and then we visit his grave. It’s a whole day thing to honor the departed,” Seb answered methodically, his voice quaking, weighed down by sadness. “We hold a smaller version every year.”
“That sounds like a lot. Does it help?” I was genuinely curious.
He had such a massive family that there’d be many people to celebrate and acknowledge his Pa’s life. Lexi just had me and Haze. She deserved so much more. She deserved to be celebrated. I couldn’t help myself as I burst into tears.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Seb whispered as I shattered into a thousand pieces. Seb just held me, whispering small words of love and comfort as I let my grief take over. I hadn’t cried this much since I first came to terms with the fact that she wasn’t coming back. So much had happened this year. Life went on, people forgot, but I still grieved the beautiful, scarlet-haired firecracker that was my platonic soulmate, my best friend, my family.
Seb just held me through it all. He was a solid presence, wrapping aroundme as I cried.
When my tears finally dried up, I was exhausted, but I didn’t want to move. “Sorry about that,” I muttered, feeling a little embarrassed.
“Hey, you never need to be sorry. I understand better than most and will always be here for you,” he murmured the words into my hair, holding onto me tightly. “You’re not alone anymore.”
More tears welled in my eyes. His words meant so much to me.I wasn’t alone anymore.
We settled in to watch a movie. I was asleep on Seb’s chest in less than five minutes.
Chapter 43
