Page 25 of For My Finale
She cleared her throat and tried again. “So, welcome to the Bankton Heritage Museum, home to an extensive collection of…” Words failed her. “Of things.” She gestured vaguely at the shelves surrounding them. A shaky start, but that was alright. She could reel them in. “The town was founded…” Another stumbling block. “...at some point, by… some people, and its biggest claim to fame is…” She looked desperately around herself. “That this is the home of the one-eyed badger, the only known mammal species to have one eye.” Was a badger a mammal? It was, right? Or a rodent. She coughed. “I mean rodent species.”
A woman in the back raised her hand. “If it’s a one-eyed badger, then why does it have two eye-holes? Also, I’m pretty certain that badgers are mammals.”
Lilah looked at the badger critically. It was true that there was a mark on the opposite side of its head where presumably a second glass eye had once been. “It’s… natural selection, evolution, that sort of thing,” she said. “Um, it takes a while for the second eye to disappear.”
A man in the middle raised his hand. “Are you really Lilah Paxton?”
“No, I’m her twin Delilah,” Lilah said crisply. “Next?”
“What was it like kissing Chris Hemsworth?” asked a young girl at the front.
“Wet,” Lilah said.
The group chuckled, but the museum director, who had been lurking near the entrance, did not look amused. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Lilah, sensing that this really wasn’t going well at all, but determined to give things her best shot, doubled down.
“And this,” she continued, moving on to a cabinet containing a set of ancient coins, “is a bunch of old money. Probably wouldn’t be acceptable currency nowadays, so not worth stealing, just for info. Best to leave everything in the museum.”
The director cleared his throat loudly. “Ms. Paxton, if I may have a word?”
Lilah turned to her little group and flashed her best Hollywood smile. “Enjoy the rest of your tour, folks.” She pulled a face. “I’ve got a feeling I might not be here tomorrow.”
There were some chuckles and more than a few satisfied nods as another guide came to take over the group. Lilah sighed and walked over to the manager. “You’re not about to give me a raise, are you?”
He smiled. “Whilst we do appreciate your… enthusiasm, Ms. Paxton, I do feel that perhaps the museum isn’t the best fit for your particular talents.”
Lilah grimaced. “Yeah, maybe not,” she agreed. “So, I’m fired?”
“Let’s call it an amicable parting of the ways,” he said.
She grabbed her jacket on the way out and decided that she might as well drop by the cafe. Blossom should see just what her little experiment was leading to. Still, another two failures, and she’d get her cottage cleaned. She was rather looking forward to lying on the couch and giving orders as Blossom swept and polished.
???
Blossom tamped down coffee grounds and started the milk frother. The cafe was quiet, but an older couple were drinking flat whites, and Ives was at the corner of the counter getting some marking done. Just the kind of time she liked, when everything was peaceful.
Or it was, until Lilah walked in.
It still gave Blossom pause to see such a famous face just stroll into her cafe. Although, just at the moment, the famous face looked both slightly annoyed and slightly smug.
“Let me guess,” Blossom sighed, pouring Lilah a cup of coffee. “The museum didn’t appreciate your creative approach to history?”
“They did not,” Lilah confirmed, plopping herself onto a barstool. “How did you know?”
“Because this is a very small town and I’ve already heard tell of the famous Bankton One-Eyed Badger,” said Blossom, refraining to mention that she’d almost collapsed in hysterics when Ida Ellis, the museum secretary, had called her with that little tid-bit.
“I don’t know what they expected,” grumbled Lilah. “I’m an actress, not a historian.”
“I think that they might have been hoping for someone who could deliver a tour that veered toward accuracy without actually stating that the town is boring,” suggested Blossom. “But I’m sure you tried your hardest.” She didn’t want to demotivate Lilah, not after she’d finally agreed to try and find something productive to do.
“The town is boring,” said Lilah. “That’s exactly why I’m here.”
Which made Blossom wonder why she was complaining about it, but that, it seemed, was just Lilah. Lilah, who was more delicate and fragile than she might appear. Blossom had learned that much from the lawn screaming. Lilah might want people tothink she was feisty and knew what she was doing. But the truth was that she was afraid, and Blossom could see it.
“You’ll just have to find something that suits you better,” Blossom said now. “Maybe customer-facing isn’t your thing.”
“I don’t know, maybe drifting through life is my thing. Maybe having no point is my thing,” Lilah said. She eyed Blossom. “Unless you just want to follow me around being my assistant in all things not-Hollywood, cheering me on, that sort of thing?”
“I have a job,” Blossom said, knowing full well that Lilah would fire her after thirty seconds. She still wasn’t entirely sure that Lilah really liked her at all. “But if customer service isn’t your thing, what about…” She considered for a moment. “What about animals?”
